H A E L I U S M A G N U S

Basi udah....tapi blog tetap blog!

2011-10-26T14:03:00.001+08:00

hola people!!

okeh, aku mengaku aku jarang menge-post blog dah sekarang...since aku makin busy dengan kerja *sampel2 di makmal sangat2 mengerah tenaga batinku ini...hehe*...and, aku pun macam blank dengan idea tentang apa yang mau dipost dalam ini blog...

tapi bila teringat balik, di bulan September lepas...banyak benda yang udah berlaku nie...well, lets rewind it!!

Awal September...

Hari Raya Puasa...seperti yang kamurang semua tau, my datuk sebelah mak is a Muslim (baru bbrapa tahun ja masuk Islam)...so, dia sambut Hari Rayalah...for that reason, saya, mum, my 2 big bro n my only little bro, balik kampung di sana Kampung Tuarid Taud, Keningau...

That was my first time datang sana keningau, and it was a long but exciting journey...mau 9 jam nie kami travel dengan kereta...tapi yang siok tu boleh berenti2 kalau ada view2 cantik...hehe...

Disamping menyambut Raya, inilah juga peluangku berjalan2 di kampung nie...memang berbeza dengan suasana di bandar...semuanya nampak simple, tapi tenang...hope dapat datang sini lagi di masa akan datang~

pictures tell a thousand stories, though mine was sooooo0o sucks~...:p

suasana di kampung my datuk...

kolam2 dengan itik2...manalah aku boleh tengok view macam begini di sandakan...

sawah padi.......:)

kolam ikan...hmm...mau memancing, tapi tiada joran...-.-

macam biasa, orang dusun nie memang tak lepas dengan tapai n tajau...heheh...

nie pulak tugu Mat Salleh, kami singgah sekejap di sini masa dalam perjalanan balik Sandakan...

nda ingat sudah apa nie...tapi yang kesian tentang tempat peringatan Mat Salleh nie, tidak terjaga betul ohh...kotor sini sana...harap2 si Musa Aman amik tindakan...

Tempat peringatan Perang somewhere di Ranau...hmm....bayar 3 hengget ( 5 ringgit kalau tak silap), tapi itu2 jak view dia...haizzz....*but better than Mat Salleh tadi tu...

Pertengahan September...

Dari bulan Ogos lagi aku sudah plan mau turun sekali lagi ke KL, untuk celebrate konvokesyen bersama kawan2 yang konvo tahun nie...

memang bulan nie memerah duit-muit ku...apa nda nya, duit flight, duit belanja....haizzz....kering2..tapi tak apa, asalkan dapat jumpa my friends, saya nda kisah....;)

Tentatif perjalanan : Sandakan ke KLIA, amik flight malam, sampai di KLIA pukul 12.45 tengahmalam...tidur2 disana, paginya naik bas ke Nilai, then dari Nilai ke Seremban, after that Seremban ke Larkin Johor....

perjalanan ke Johor nie kira perjalanan terjauh yang aku pernah lalui, secara solo...=.=

Aku stay 2 hari 3 malam di sana UTM sama kawanku, Herman...saja2 mau spend time dengan dia di sana....

then, dari Johor, aku ke Bangi, stay dengan Tojo aka Azir Rezha and Zirin aka Mohd Azirin...hehe...

diorang sekarang stay di rumah sewa sudah, bukan lagi di kolej dalam UKM....so, agak terbatas sikit pergerakan aku dalam UKM...

Di UKM, konfirmlah tujuanku datang sana, mau celebrate convo dengan junior2 and kawan2 yang sudah abis belajar.....

faveret picture....kiri:Nelson, Fredoine, Brenda and Stephanie...

3 of my Sabahan juniors...congrats to all of u...

sori sebab tak banyak picture masa konvo nie...and tak banyak gambar masa di Bangi n Johor....malas mau amik gambar sebenarnya....hehhehehe~

Hujung September...

Kerja balik....haizzz....menghadap sampel2, darah, urine....and bulan nielah, aku sudah setahun bekerja di Pathology and Clinical Laboratory (Malaysia) Sdn. Bhd......and masih terintai2 peluang kerja dengan government nie.....:(

Datang2 jak kerja, udah ada macam2 masalah....Lord, I need guidance n strength from You....help me...

A bit from October...

Bulan nie, memang bulan mengambil orang2 baru di makmal...ada dua orang baru masuk, satu gurl, satu lagi boy...yang boy tu my classmate dari St. Michael lagi, Thien Yung Hin....hope he'll do his best...yang gurl tu dulu kerja di Japlab, namanya Nuriza...rasanya tiada masalah dia mau biasakan diri tu...sudah pernah keja makmal, kan?

okaylah, itu jak...idea surut balik...hehehehe~daa......

Heritage That Shouldn't be Forgotten

2011-08-21T06:50:00.008+08:00

I was born a Kadazandusun, or more specifically, a Dusun guy *yg parents-nya lahir di Tamparuli, n then berhijrah ke Sandakan, kemudian lahirlah anak2nya dsana, termasuklah saya...*

really longing to go here....tp klu balik Tamparuli tu, mesti lupa mau dtg sni...=.=

But sadly, my fluency in Dusun is really down the drain...one of the reason is that I rarely speak in that language and because the environment really discourages me to do so...

the Lord's Prayer, "Our Father" in Kadazan...

but then, I never forget my origin, who I was, and what am I supposed to proud of...

Kind of sudden, right?

Just wanna share about what had happened yesterday...

When I was busy doing test in lab yesterday, my mother called me, saying that she was about to go for a Kadazan Holy Mass in St. Joseph, Sandakan.

And all of a sudden, I felt a mysterious feeling and that feeling asked me to go for that Mass. Then I left everything, asked my colleague to continue my job, and rushed for the Mass.

I guess, the moment I enter the church, I can see everyone is Kadazan *n Dusun*, preparing themselves for Mass.

And as the Mass went on, I was.........~~~blurrrrrrrrrred~~~~........

Tell me bout it, with my limited knowledge in Kadazan language *which I know a bit better than Dusun, but still sikit jugak...;p*, I listened to all hymns, the readings as well as the prayers....

Post-Mass, I resolved, that starting October, I will come for this Mass every month, or whenever they have it. Since it's one of the way to preserve the heritage of my bangsa...

*my next plan...want to make a kadazan suit for myself....lamaaaaaa sudah mau buat, tapi selalu tertangguh-tangguh nie....aiso rasuk ku ti...

and try to learn more Dusun words from my sumandak koginawaanku, Ann Wanah....;)

Iziau noh Koupusanku songuhun, baino om gisom aiso kopupuson....*Engkaulah Kekasihku Seorang, Sekarang Sehingga Selama-Lamanya...*...

ketara bah dihafal2 nie ayat-ayatan Kadazan...bikin malu jak....okaylah...aku nda mau memalukan diri sendiri lagi...bubye...:p

Genap setahun...

2011-08-09T22:38:00.013+08:00

ya, akhirnya esok...

genaplah setahun semenjak peristiwa paling bermakna dlm hidup aku....Konvokesyen, yakni bergraduasi...

memori 10 Ogos 2010, terima ijazah Sarjana Muda Sains Dengan Kepujian Dalam Mikrobiologi...

so....

apa pencapaianku sepanjang setahun sudah bergraduasi nie?

honestly to say...

sejak mula kenal alam pekerjaan *yg betul2 pnya* nie...aku makin hari makin mengenali betapa realiti itu sesuatu yg sgt menyakitkan...

org selalu ckp, Truth Hurts....but I tell you, Truth Kills...yeah, it kills u so much that u wanna run away from it..

yes, realiti kerja lh yg sy tgh ckp skg nie...lumrah hidup bkeja, dtg pagi, punch pagi, buat keja, tghari makan lunch, then punch out ptg...kdg2 punch out lewat sbb overtime...

gedebukkkk....punch in muka ko~~~!

mebi satu sebab knpa aku mcm susah mau biasakan diri pd mulanya kerana aku sblum nie xpernah keja dgn company, apa lagi dgn org lain...so, feeling kna marah, kna tegur tu, kdg2 aku nda paham...

tp itu bukanlh satu alasan aku mau lari, kn? mau nda mau realiti kerja kna hadapi...yaitu, aku sudah mula memikul tnggungjwb...utk bantu family, n mnyenangkan hati parents...n kmpul duit utk masa depan...*kawin etc. etc....:p*

perasaan kehilangan...

well, ini ada bnda yg paling aku susah mau bayangkn...selama nie ak juz dgr dri kwn2 ttg kisah2 org yg dtinggalkan kekasihlh, apalh....now aku sndri udah rasa...

betapa peritnya prpisahan tu...saat mau mlepaskan dia tu pergi demi kebahagiaan yg lbh sejati, aku plak yg mmendam rasa sedih, biarpn kbykan kwn skerja ku xtau, sbb aku kan "pelakon hebat", pandai cover....=.=....~

well, tawa dlm tangisan jaklh....=.=

n satu pencapaian...aku mahu lebih mencintai sesama, dkalangan kwn skerja n dgn diri sndri~

ya, sblum nie aku ada sifat dmna aku suka mlebihkn diri sndri dari org lain...aka selfish *jual-ikan*

tp slps mnjadi pkerja nie, aku bljr utk lbh mnghargai smua dsekelilingku..kwn skerja, semua senyum tawa diorg, teguran, emosi diorg...well, smemangnya hadiah trindah adalah bila sy sedar yg sy sgt sygkan mreka smua...my colleagues as well as my family...

my beloved colleagues aka my loved ones...(crdt pix Zunaima Yahya)

smiling faces makes my heart full of warmth...Thank you GOD for giving me such a wonderful friends...(crdt pix Charleen SSK aka kiun kiun)

my wonderful varsity friends...

awesome schoolmates of mine~ (crdt pix Lee aka Roslee or Bobom)

new member in the house...anak kakak sy a.k.a. anak buah kedua sy...=D

well, ada byk lg my wonderful peoples in my life nie, but one thing is for sure, I will always remember u guys in my life...

hmm....just for reminiscing...wanna share my moment after convocation last year, 10 August 2010, enjoy~...=D

my fellow graduatees...*got such word ka???*(crdt pix Brenda Octavia)

me with my really sporting friend n brother, Hilary Hiew (crdt pix: Stepheny Lunja)

kna lambung....dlu ak yg buat gtu sma senior, time tu aku yg dbuat gtu...merah oh mukaaa~~~(crdt pix: Brenda Octavia)

Last but not least, to all my friends who are graduating next month, as well as my fellow juniors, I wish all of u advanced CONGRATULATIONS! u guys made it, n u guys deserve it!

komputer baru!

2011-08-04T23:16:00.005+08:00

hehehe...

happy tak terkira...

aku sudah beli komputer baru...~well, bukan laptop, tp desktop PC...ada sebabnya knapa aku xmau beli laptop...

satu, sbb aku xmau komputer aku tu dibawa2 kesana sini...biarlh dia kekal di satu tempat ja, iaitu dbilik...

dua, sbb nampak lbh matang skit....*knonnyer lh matang...mcm taik jak...:p*

mesti kmurg mau tau apa jenama yg aku beli....well, dia adalah Lenovo C200 yg mana CPU dan monitor dia adalah satu....n yg special tu, skrin dia touchscreen....oo0o0o0oO...~

gmbr dia lbh kurg mcm nielh....

hmm....ada jgklh mcm gini stail dia.....aku skg nie pn tgh berusaha mahu ksi biasakan diri dgn keyboardnya nie.....=.=

well, sy harap dgn adanya komputer nie, aku xkan rsa bosan lagi drumah.....

oklah, itu jaa....byeeeeee~

lama sudah~

2011-05-02T12:08:00.004+08:00

sepanjang bulan 3 n 4....ak xda pn....mebi skali dua.....ada post entry dlm nie blog....ksian...sudah berhabuk2 nie blog tau..

kalau dkumpul2 smua kejadian yg berlaku dlm 2 bulan nie...mmg trlalu bnyak bnda yg trjadi...

ak just wrap it up mcm bgini jaklh ya....

March...

1) sudah genap 6 bulan ak kerja di Pathlab...and my progress? damn slow~! slower than a snail...haish....my senior sudah ban aku dari mengambil darah (sbb ak sdah failed dlm hal mngambil darah a.k.a phlebotomy...), so tumpuan ak akn dlebihkn kpd kerja2 makmal jak.....

mmg sweat jgk...sbb ak rsa ak kurg ssuatu yg ak sepatutnya kuasai dlm kerja ku nie...tp yg mnggembirakn aku...aku di-confirm jawatan jgk...n bulan tu, ak belanja my colleagues mamam....hmm...such tradition mmg mng-hepikan diorg...n I can't wait for the confirmation of my other colleague...

2) laptop sudah xbleh pakai utk on9...ak pn xtau apa msalah sbnr lptop tu...buduh btul...nasib jak kakak-ku ada assignmnt yg mau pakai lptop, so ak bg lh tu lptop sma dia...klu tu lptop remain with me, mmg hancur-mengancur tu lptop ak kerjakan...bikin panas jak....=.=

3) kakakku yg pertama balik rumah....dgn baby yg msih dlm kandungan...6 bulan udah nie...wow!! nda sangka dia ngandung ohhh....nda lama lg dptlah anak buah kedua...:D

April...

1) the most beautiful month...aku dan si dia sudah declared as couple....setelah 2 tahun aku menunggu2 jawapan dri sia, akhirnya dia mahu mnjadi my girlfriend...thanks syg sbb terima sy dlm hatimu...akan ku jaga cinta ini sebaiknya...

n itu brmaksud, cinta sebelum nie trpaksa brkubur...krna kita xserasi dlm byk hal....maafkan daku...namun itu harus brlaku...

2) bulan yg malang....dompet aku hilang kna copet msa PC fair dsandakan...mmg nasib malang nie....lagi2 dia brlaku msa Good Friday....but God is so magical and full of miracle...pd ahad malamnya tu...Easter sudah, ada org kol aku...dia jmpa my wallet....mmg sungguh brsyukur sbb Tuhan itu ajaib....=D

3) bulan nie....aku menunaikan janji yg telah aku ikat dgn kwn2 teater n kwn2 UKM aku yg lain...mau jmpa diorg lg...in other word, cuti2 di semenanjung....enjoyed my holiday to the max that day...5 hari oh aku cuti~~~hehehhehe~

bnyaklh jgk tmpt ak pgi sma2 diorg...and at the end of my holiday, ak janji dgn diorg yg ak akn jmpa diorg lg...this time for their convocation...wanna see their joy as they wear their convocation robes...=D

sbnrnya byk lagi bnda yg berlaku nie...tp since ak skg di cc n aku xdpt berfikir (sbb bising btul nie cc), so nnt2 lah ya....

my plan utk bulan May...

1) celebrate Hari Ibu dgn my mum...

2) beli laptop baru...

3) pasang niat (BETUL2 PUNYA) mau bljr bawak kereta...sbb next month aku mau amik lesen, God willing~

4) mngharap ada yg baik dtg dri mana2 application yg ak buat utk kerja dgn government...

itu jaklh...ok, daaa...~~~

Lent is coming!

2011-03-08T22:21:00.001+08:00

my fellow Catholics, Lent is coming tomorrow...

so I wish all of u...

a blessed Lent ya!

sad....=.=...

2011-02-28T20:56:00.002+08:00

sad.......

itu jak yg aku dapat rasakan kebelakangan nie....

aku tak tau....sejauh mana aku dapat bertahan dengan perasaan ini...

mungkin...

ada baiknya kalau aku teruskan hidupku seperti biasa...

tapi...

aku tak mampu....

ya...

aku tak mampu lupakannya....habis bagaimana?!?

arghhh!!!

kadang-kadang, aku cuba menghibur hati sendiri, cuba mencari logika disebalik semua yang berlaku...

tapi sebenarnya aku tak mampu menipu hati ini yang kesakitan...

sensitive? can't be discussed in public?

2011-02-15T11:44:00.003+08:00

kelmarin Hari Kekasih (aka Valentine's Day)...

hmm...not to say lh, ak nie ada kekasih (knon2nyer)...tp apa yg mnarik perhatian aku, ttg larangan menyambut Hari Kekasih nie dkalangan org Islam...

personally, I have no hurt or offense klu diorg xsambut nie barang, bcoz they hve their own reason to do that...like what I always say, jgn dipaksa klu xmau...lagi2 klu bnda tu mnyalahi hukum agama or norma masyarakat...

cuma...

some people....(yg aku rsa, most probably, tersalah cakap ka, or terlepas cakap)...try to mengaitkan kemungkaran or benda2 xbaik dgn agama tertentu...

I truly take a positive thought about that matter...that individual probably doesn't really meant what he/she said...

but for sure, not everyone can accept my way of thinking...sesetengah tu smpai melenting2 di Facebook, suruh mintak maaflah, apalah...I personally doesn't really like what I saw there...

anyway n anyhow, as a Malaysian, we should know that we r living in a multiracial n multireligious community...some issues (religion, ethnic, special rights, language) shouldn't be addressed directly...whether that person is a religious leader or teacher, a political leader, or just a concerned citizen...

sy bukan mau ckp yg bnda2 sensitif nie kita senyapkan jak...semua etnik (and agama) di Malaysia nie pn ada mcm2 bnda sensitif yg lain2 pihak nda bleh kacau...sbg rakyat, kita ada hak utk bersuara, itu sdah trmaktub dlm Perlembagaan...cuma, klu mau meng-clear-kan perkara2 sedemikian (cthnya isu Interlok), perbincangan sangat2lah penting n semua pihak yg terlibat kna buka hati masing2 utk menerima apa2 komen or feedback dri satu pihak...

sama jgk halnya dlm soal agama...we hve to admit, people makes mistake...klu bukan skali, mngkin berkali2...*well itulah sebabnya ada idiom Inggeris, to err is human, to forgive is divine*...perbincangan tertutup perlu diadakan n ianya harus disertai oleh golongan bijak pandai yg berfikir menggunakan akal dan hikmat kurniaan Tuhan...diorg2 inilah yg pula harus mnerangkan segala hasil perbincangan tu kpd umum (especially kpd org2 yg seangkatan or sebangsa or seagama dgnnya) dgn cermat dan trsusun, supaya tidak disalah ertikan shingga mnimbulkan salah paham...

I stand here as a Malaysian, the Son of the Soil (Bumiputra Sabah), and as a Catholic Christian, urge all of us, irrespective of what beliefs, races or political ideology, to be more sensible and at the same time, to be more sensitive to our surroundings...as we only have one country to live in, that is Malaysia (not to be confused with 1Malaysia tu...xda kaitan pn..).

I love my country!

Tinta Cinta

2011-01-23T23:28:00.002+08:00

Ku mahu kau tuliskan katamu,

diatas warkah putih ini,

menulis dengan harapan cinta,

membara sejuta rasanya.

Kau tahu rahsianya,

saat dia terurai,

bilamana dia terserlah,

di persada mahligai kasih ini.

Aku tahu alkisahnya,

merungkai sejuta sentuhan,

yang sekian lama terpendam,

menjadi satu kerinduan.

Kita senang menilai,

Mereka tidak ketahuan,

Kau dan aku semestinya pasti,

tatkala embun nan sejuk bertamu lagi.

Jangan gundah merana,

merintih jiwa sengsara,

ker'na semesti dan sesungguh,

hijau dan laut bertemu lagi,

bertamu kasih.

Hailey Goitom

11.34 pm, 23 Januari 2011, Batu 7, Sandakan.

*sekian lama aku xberpuisi, tetiba mlm nie aku dpt ilham....Thank God ilhamku dtg kembali...=)

cool down, sayang~

2011-01-12T00:08:00.002+08:00

xxx : sayang, nape nie?

aku : hmm...xtaulah, rse mcm berat sgt di hati nie....

xxx : nape? saya ade buat salah kat awak ke?

aku : xde...awak xbuat apa2 salah pun...saya je yg trlalu menyimpan rase...

awak tau kan....saya jenis yg xmampu nak marah bila keadaan memaksa saya utk marah...

cuma.....saya rase.....uhhh!

xxx : sayang, cool down ye...

aku : (menghela nafas panjang)

just wanna share some of things that happened to me a couple of days ago....huhuhuh~

Xin Nian...Tahun Baru!

2011-01-02T07:30:00.002+08:00

yess....aku tau, lama sudah ak xupdate, kn? tapi apa2 pun...

Selamat Tahun Baru!!!

bagi aku, tahun nie, ak ada beberapa azam...

1) belajar lebih bnyak lagi ttg kerja aku skg...

2) cuba mencapai sebnyak mungkin apa yg aku inginkan...bukan semualh, tp klu dpt sebahagian pn jadilah....

3) reflect more on vocation (whether wanna lead a single life *xsemestinya mau jd father* or get married)...

4) make eveyone around me happy...

All the best, Hailey....

btw, azam tahun 2010 ak ada sbahagiannya sdah trcapai, ada yg msih xtrcapai2....hmm....kamu org plak mcmmna? heheh...

Gila~!

2010-11-19T18:49:00.008+08:00

well...

aku mmg gila...

and once aku sdah gila terhadap sesuatu, aku memang sudah xbleh mau buang kegilaan tu...

antara kegilaan aku....Sailor Moon...~!

*crap!!! hailey, ko tu llaki!! knapa plak ko minat itu anime perempuan???!!*

WTH?? salah meh aku mau minat bnda2 bgini? well, bukan anime dia (and manga) jak yg aku minat...nor the characters....but the message inside it....see? that reflects my characteristic, seorang yg suka melihat sesuatu yang berbeza...dari perspektif lain...

Sailor Moon: siri anime Jepun yang berkisar ttg sekumpulan gadis sekolah menengah yang sebenarnya adalah pahlawan (or better srikandi, in a more traditional way, becoz diorg adalah perempuan), dan merupakan kelahiran semula dari semangat srikandi yang pernah menjadi pelindung kepada Dewi Bulan, yaitu Queen Serenity.

geng2 dlm Sailor Moon...:p

anime nie ada 5 siri (Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon R, Sailor Moon S, Sailor Moon Super S dan Sailor Star). tp yg siri last tu xditayang di Malaysia lagi...cuma smpai Super S ja...and setiap siri memaparkan musuh2 yg brbeza...brmula dari musuh yg berada berhampiran dengan Sistem Suria sehingga kpd musuh dari luar Sistem Suria...

mesej anime ini???

Percaya!

yup...dlm siri anime, dsebut, shinjite...yup, seseorg tu harus percaya akan keupayaan dirinya...dan berusaha sedayanya utk mencapai kejayaan...in case of Sailor Moon anime, mereka punya kepercayaan yg kuat bahawa mreka akan dapat mengalahkan musuh, biar betapa kuat dan gagahnya musuh itu...namun dgn kuasa kepercayaan dan keyakinan yg teguh, maka smua kpayahan dpt diatasi...

Cinta!

Kesetiaan kpd cinta menjadi sesuatu yg sgt mnarik perhatian aku dlm stiap siri anime nie...Usagi yg mmpunyai cinta yg mndalam kpd Mamoru, mmbawa kpd kesanggupannya berada dlm bahaya utk menyelamatkn dia, dan begitu juga sebaliknya...

Jiwa Kepahlawanan!

Setiap manusia tercipta utk menjadi pahlawan...mesej nie teramat jelas dlm setiap babak pertarungan srikandi Sailor dgn musuh...dan setiap watak pnya jiwa pahlawan yg trsendiri...Sailor Uranus, Neptune, Pluto dan Saturn adalah srikandi yg lahir utk brjuang mlindungi Kerajaan Bulan jauh di penghujung Sistem Suria dgn kekuatan luar biasa mreka manakala Sailor Mercury, Venus, Mars dan Jupiter melindungi Puteri Bulan iaitu Sailor Moon dgn kekuatan kesetiaan dan kesanggupan memberi nyawa deminya.

my faveret sailor senshi, Sailor Neptune, dlm pakaian Eternal Sailor Senshi-nya...siap dgn sayap lg...

Dalam kehidupan, setiap manusia akan mnghadapi banyak musuh....dan musuh yg paling getir skali ialah kemahuan dirinya, yakni dirinya sndiri...setiap manusia pasti mahukan ssuatu yg lebih...lbh kuasa, duit, pengaruh...namun smua nie dpt diatasi dgn keimanan dan ksungguhan utk mmecahkan tembok diri sndiri demi mencapai ktenangan rohani...

ALAMAK!!!

aku mcm sdah jd father plak, mmbagi homili aka khutbah...haiyoooo...

Dlm last series "Sailor Star", ada satu lagu yg sgt2 best...lagu tema si Galaxia, antagonis utamanya. So, aku mau share lagu tu di sni...

watak2 antagonis aka Sailor Animamates dlm Sailor Moon : Stars

kiri: Sailor Aluminium Siren, Sailor Iron Mouse, Sailor Chaos (ketua), Sailor Tin Nyanko, Sailor Lead Crow

Klik di sini utk dengar lagunya...ak link ke Youtube...hehe...

Golden Darkness Golden Darkness

SUTAA SHIIDO ni afure kagayaku

Koudai na ginga

Subete wo yami ni tozashi yuku

Konjiki no jo'ou

Horoboshita kazukazu no hoshi no

Senshi wo ashiki SEERAA senshi ni kaete

Zen'uchuu wo kono te ni......

Yuke!

SEERAA ANIMAMEITSU!!

Kagayaki tsuyoki inochi ni yadoru

Shin no SUTAA SHIIDO wo ubae

Kagayaku no watashi dake deii

I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica

SEERAA senshi, kaku hoshi ni sumi

Mamori nuku ginga

Kishuu wo shikake kurin suru

Hakai no jo'ou

Horoboshita kazukazu no hoshi no

Senshi wo ashiki SEERAA senshi ni kaete

Zen'uchuu wo kono te ni......

*Kakugo!

ETAANARU SEERAA MUUN!!

SHIRUBAA MUUN KURISUTARU motsu

Omae no SUTAA SHIIDO ga hoshii

Kagayaku no watashi dake deii

I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica

*repeat

Scary n Nervous!

2010-10-09T15:49:00.003+08:00

well, it wasn't that scary actually, but I was nervous~~!!!

nervous pa jgk nie???

hmm...

saja mau taruk nie gmbar darah~~~ngehehehe~

msa hujung bulan 9, mnggu kedua sdah ak kerja dsini lab, my supervisor suruh saya, for the first time, amik darah dari patient...=.=

n my guinea pig at that time was foreign worker lh...hmm...

mau djadikan cerita, itulh pertama kali ak mmegang picagari aka syringe utk dtusuk kdalam urat manusia....n it was a failure....

hehhehe...ndadalh bah jarum dia mcm nie...nie saja mau ksi gempak knun....:p

apa nda nya, mau cucuk tu jarum tanganku sudah shaking macam mau mati...n my supervisor at that time, mmg pening kepala dgn my ke-nervous-an tu n then amik alih tugas...

nervous hingga menggigit jari gitewww,kann...boleh?? hehehe~~

aku kesian dgn foreign worker tu, sbb trpaksa dcucuk jarum 2 kali, sbb my first attempt tu nda trkrluar tu darah...huhuhu~~~

well, ok, 1st attempt, failure...biasalh bah tu kan....tp...

kelmarin...

ak dsuruh lagi amik darah...foreign worker jgk...hmm....ok, ke-nervous-an tu sdah kurang *kononlah*....jarum sdah dtangan....*jantung brdegup2 kencang...*

posisi jarum dah set...then....

CUCUK!

same thing again...darah nda kluar...haizzz......~~~~~~=.=

geram n sedih...bilalh ak mau pndai amik darah nie????

God, give me patience...help Your helpless servant nie...:(

Love-Angel-Music-Baby~

2010-09-25T16:14:00.001+08:00

Love...I love my job yg perlukan aku mengingat semua prosedur2, tatacara2, n kbersihan serta ketepatan...

Angel...sebab semua org di lab tempat ak kerja skg nie adalah gurls....

Music...sbb di lab sentiasa dpasang radio yg sentiasa mmutarkan muzik...:p

Baby....hmm...baby? apa ya? hmm......

oklah, itu jak.....hehehe.....daa~~

New Job~!

2010-09-09T11:39:00.002+08:00

awal minggu nie (Isnin), ak pgi interview utk jd Medical Lab. Scientist di PathLab Sandakan...

tanpa disangka2, sekali ja dtg, aku trus diterima bkerja dsana...

sekali lagi suatu keajaiban buat aku...THANK GOD for that~!

anyway, minggu nie, minggu terakhir aku kerja disana KFC batu 8, so ngam2 plak minggu nie minggu mau raya...so brtambah2 sandi' (sengsara) ak skg nie...crappP~~~~
customer banyak gila!!!

aku kira mau brenti ahad nie, tp my lovely bos mintak ak kerja smpai hari tu jgk, sbb mmg dah xda org lain n susah dia mau cari org mau ganti aku...*since bhgian cook KFC tu ada 2 org ja tnggal, n akn jd sorg lpas ak blah*

ak pn dgn relanya kerja lh smpai ahad nnt...

oh ya, ttg kerja baru ak tu..

Medical Lab. Scientist...kerja aku nnt menganalisis sampel2 sputum, darah, stool as well as urine utk tujuan pmeriksaan ksihatan. well, a totally new job n experience for me, coz ak nda prnah bkrja dgn dis kinda stuff...so have to catch up really damn fast lh...My God, help me~

tp asalkan ak prcaya dgn kmampuan aku n kemahuan ak utk mmperoleh pengalaman brharga, rsanya xkan ada msalah besar pnya....may God be with me~

all the best for myself in my new workplace next week...~

ok, tu jaklh...daa~~

Graduation Day!

2010-08-24T13:57:00.003+08:00

aku tau, lambat sgt sdah ak ksi post nie barang...tp ak still mau jgk taip nie barang...:p

Tapi sbnrnya tujuan ak taip blog entry nie just utk bagi tribute for my family, especially my Mom n Dad sbb diorglah aku dapat menyambung pelajaran ke peringkat lbh tnggi...

Syukur Tuhan sbb kerana mereka, aku telah lahir ke dunia ini..

teringat plak saat2 ak dlahirkan...n my mom told me, I wasn't born in a normal way...the doctor at that time had to operate my mom bcoz she juz can't let me out of the womb...*obviously, I am too big for her...hehehe...*

and I guess, that makes me unique, and that's why I really love her, becoz if she struggled and failed, I would not be able to see this beautiful world~

and again, thanks a lot, Mom n Dad, for giving me such warm love and affection to me (as well as to my abg n kakak n adik)...

but then...

All Thanks, Glory and Gratefulness I Give unto GOD the ALMIGHTY....PRAISE THE LORD!

gmbr ak dgn my jubah konvo n degree...klu mau tgk lbih, tgk jak dlm profile Facebook aku...

itu jaklah...daa...

Faith

2010-08-06T11:36:00.004+08:00

Faith...

tafsirannya mengikut kamus biasa adalah iman atau iktikad, or dlm perkataan yg lebih mudah difahami, ia adalah suatu keyakinan terhadap sesuatu...

dia xsemestinya berkait dgn ssuatu yg berbaur keagamaan...dia pn bleh digunakan dalam aspek lain...

aku bukan mau bcakap ttg agama disini *since ak nie pn xberapa pndai agama n perangai pn mcm hantu jgk...*, tp ak just mau share ssuatu mengenainya....

just now, I went jalan2 with my friend, si Brenda...*xtau plak dia tgh buat master dUKM nie...haizzz...*

then I told her something-lah....*apa something tu, rahsia*, then there was a sentence that attracted me so much...

"There are still humanities in this world, have faith"

u see that word, the word F.A.I.T.H....*sa ksi eja utk kmurg lagi bah*

hmm...what makes me so interested about this faith thingy???

well, to tell you the truth, sometimes *perhaps most of the time*, I dun have faith, or at least, the faith that I have is so very the smally small small *got such words ka??? rosak English oh*

Again, the faith that I'm talking now is NOT religion-related, since I always believe in the One Creator of Heaven and Earth...

but actually, sometimes, I dun have guts to move on...to move forward towards uncertainties...ssuatu yg xpasti...mngkin sbb pengalaman lalu mmbuat aku lebih berhati2, or mmbuat aku lebih takut...

I dunno, tp kalau keyakinan (Faith) yang ak ada tu kuat, mngkin akan mmbawa aku lebih kehadapan dlm mencapai ssuatu...

apa2 pun, thanks be to God sbb dia telah mnghantar suatu pesanan penting buat sy, "have faith" mlalui si Brenda td...Brenda, ko mmg mcm angel nie, hantar utusan Tuhan kpd sy....hehehe...

bah, itu sajalah....daa~

here in UKM, once more....

2010-08-05T15:13:00.003+08:00

yup~

skg nie ak mnaip blog entry dlm sebuah bilik di kolej keris mas, UKM...

ak xlama pn stay sni blik kat KKM, smpai ahad jak sebab ada kwn dari Johor mau dtg sni ukm jalan2...so ak sngaja apply bilik sni...ada jgklah tmpat dia mau tidur masa stay di UKM nie...

then after that, I'll stay di bilik kwn sy disana Kolej Amin smpai ak balik Sabah 12hb nnt...

hmm....napa plak aku mau balik ukm?

10hb nnt, akan sempurnalh kehidupan kampus saya, and pada masa yang sama, berakhirlah ia...sebab aku akan bergraduasi pada tarikh tu...

rsa xsabar mau mnerima "segulung" ijazah dari my canselor (or sapa2lh yg mmbagi tu ijazah)...tapi kan.....aku sedih plak tau....why?

my parents won't be able to see me receiving my degree...

well, since my childhood, this is my dream to receive a degree and make my parents proud...but, I guess I'll just have to bear this sadness deep inside my heart...

sudahlah, xmau cakap bnyak2 ttg parents sni...nnt nangis plak...:(

apa2 pn, aku mau ucap "Tahniah", "Congratulations", "Omedetto Gozaimasu", "~dunno how to say tahniah in Mandarin~", "~xtau mcmmna mau ckp congratz in Dusun~" kepada semua yang bergraduasi dari 7hb smpai 10hb nie...

All the best utk your future plans and goings. kalau ada kerja sudah tu, roger2 lh bah yg masih teda kerija nie *knun teda kerija*, belanja2 ka, moginum ka....hehehe~

bah, yalah...itu jak...daa~~

Kerja sementara jahhh....

2010-07-23T15:25:00.002+08:00

hmm...bljr sdah abis...aku pn dah trlepas tnggungjwb dri bljr nie...*for this time being lh*

tapi, xkanlh ak mauj duduk rumah ja, kn...mnghabiskan beras orang rumah...so, dari ak buat mcm tu, better ak buat kerja, kn? hmm...

ak skg nie tgh kerja kt Kentucky Fried Chicken...or lebih dikenali sbg KFC...hehee...xjauh pn dri rumah...1km lbih jak...rsanya jln kaki pn boleh...

tp nie kerja smntara jaklah, xtrfikir pn mau permanent with this job....mau kmpul duit skit, smbil mngisi2 masa lapang....n belajar sdikit ttg alam pkerjaan nie...yalah, slama nie, ak krja pn sgn kluarga jak...krja kt kebun...so pngalaman kerja dgn kluarga n dgn org tu ,,g berbeza, kn? hmm...

ak start kerja 2 minggu lepas lagi....my job? jd tukang masak kt dapur dia, msak ayam lh, apa lagi...hehehee....

but nevertheless, bukan kerja lh klu xpenat, xbuang peluh...walaupn mmg sgt2 mngerah tenaga 4 kerat aku...*yg ak sndri pn xprnah perah msa krja dikebun dlu*....hehehe...

overall, kerja ku skg nie, kira...boleh tahanlah...mengajar ak mnjadi org yang bersabar...sbb paling stress time customer ramai mau beli ayam...hadoi...=.=....

wish me all the best ya, utk at least 2 months lagi...harap2lah government bg ak kerja cepat2, sperti yg djanjikan kpd budak2 biasiswa JPA dlu...:D

oklah..itu jaklah updateku buat masa nie...daa...~

ahaksss...Japanese, Mandarin, Korean, Arabic or Latin, mana aku mau minat nie?

2010-06-21T03:02:00.009+08:00

yepp...

studying foreign languages may seem to be a major hurdle in order for a person to understand one's culture and the way they think...

let me tell you about several languages that attract me so much...and there are various reasons for that as well...

華語, Hua Yu (Mandarin, Bahasa Cina)

It is the official dialect used by the Republic of China, but the use of many other Chinese dialects had not been reduced, but in the same popularity as what Mandarin had gained...

It is also called Putong Hua (the common language) in China, since it is the dialect that unifies them.

This is the first foreign language that captured my interest...I fell in love woth this language since my childhood, since the beauty of the language (4 tones, the art of pronouncing the Pinyin) gives me a sense of

"WHOAAA...~~"

(alamak, salah expression, nie gmbr budak kna hambat....bukan sbb dia kagum...=.=)

I took extra class of Mandarin during my 3rd Grade (Darjah 3) school (p/s: sy sekolah kebangsaan ya...Sekolah Kebangsaan St. Gabriel Sandakan), but I didn't finish it...maybe because the class was on Saturday and I just couldn't keep myself disciplined to wake up early on that weekend...iyalah bah kan, budak2...suka main saja.....:p

I continued to learn this language, informally, through my Chinese friends during my secondary school as well as from that small-small book...the phrase book, and that keeps my interest in Mandarin on high...

in university, I had the chance to take that extra subject again, but this time in Persatuan Mahasiswa UKM's "Projek Kelas Mandarin"...I took 2 levels, and I passed both levels with "warna-terbang"....hehehe...

I also took Bahasa Cina Asas I as my Pilihan Bebas (Free Choice) subject during my 3rd year...and, as expected, I got "A" for it...

but the sad thing is that...when you don't practice the language, you'll easily forget it...as for me, I did very well in my oral test as well as in written test...but that's it! after exam, kepala blank balik...trus jd buduh mau bcakap cina....hahaha...~~~!

well, that's for Mandarin...

日本語, Nihon-go (Japanese, Bahasa Jepun)

it is the official language of the Nation of Japan, where it follows the dialect of Tokyo, if I wasn't mistaken...kalau mau sure sangat, baca Wiki-lah kmurang...hahaha...

This language captures my attention first after I watched this Japanese drama, "With Love", the Internet Love story between Teruterubozu and Hasegawa Takashi...lama sudah bah crita nie, dari zaman sekolah menengah sy lagi...I didn't remember sudah apa kesudahan cerita nie, but from that drama, I started searching opportunities to learn Japanese...

patung Teru Teru Bozu...comelll.....

my first and foremost source to Japanese books at that time was Sandakan Public Library...goshh...I can't believe this library is the

"Heaven of All-the-Book-I-Want-To-Find"

nielh Public Library Sandakan...buruk, kn? *gila, mmburukkan nama hometown sndri...*

that I even found a book on learning Japanese~!!

I borrowed that book and brush up, on my own, the basic writing, Hiragana as well as Katakana...I learn a bit about its grammar and some short phrases, but I don't think learning the grammar by myself will make me fluent in that language...

as time went by, I had more and more opportunities to be exposed with many Japanese-cultured frenzies (anime, manga)...and I found out that learning its 3rd form of writing, the most complex one, Kanji (Chinese characters), is even more interesting...

한국어, Han-Gugyeo (Korean, Bahasa Korea)

this language, is the official language of Korea (North and South)...check Wiki-lah sndri utk info bhsa nie...malas sdah sa mau crita panjang2...:p

*dis time ckp melayu*

Bahasa nie mula menarik perhatian saya masa Tingkatan 4 dlu...masa tu 8TV ada siarkan drama Korea "Jewel In The Palace", cerita berlatar belakang Korea di zaman diorang masih ada Raja...cerita dia ttg sorg pmpuan pelayan di Istana Diraja, Jang Geum (or dlm 8TV, since dia Mandarin-dubbed, nama dia Chang-jin, 長今...)...malas mau crita pnjang jgk...cari sndri...:p

nielh dia pelakon yg mmbuat ak jd mabuk bahasa Korea n kebudayaan dia, Lee Young Ae...daisuki dayo...*salah bahasa...*

anyway, selain sgt2 jatuh jatuh cinta dgn kebudayaan bangsa Korea (pakaian, muzik), aku jugak, time tu, jatuh cinta dgn bahasa dia...well, 8TV time tu tayang yg Mandarin-dubbed, so aku xdgr bahasa Korea dia....but the theme song remain in Korean...bahasa yang dipakai tu yg mmbuat ak jatuh hati dgn bhsa Korea...

then aku, mcm yg ak buat pd Bahasa Jepun td, mula mencari buku ttg bljr tulisan dia...Hangul, hmm...far more easier dari bljr tulisan Jepun or Cina, sbb lbh kurg mcm bljr ABC diorg jaa....tp still, mau tulis bhsa dia nie pn ada rules2 dia (tatabhsa lh, apa lagi)....

then later, ak jumpa, org Korea pun guna tulisan Cina jgk dlm mnulis bhsa diorg....it's called Hanja (Chinese Script), and it has a bit similarities with modern Chinese, since Korean borrowed a vast amount of chinese words in their language...

what a beautiful language, indeed....

الغة العربية, Al-Lughatul 'Arabiyya (Arabic, Bahasa Arab)

This is the second language (after Mandarin) that I like the most...

during my schooldays (junior and middle school), the only source of Arabic that I can dengar is from bacaan ayat suci Al-Quran...to be honest, the first time I heard Al-Quran being recited, I fell in love with it...the beauty of the reading and the language herself, makes me in heaven...

then, like what I have done for Japanese and Korean, I borrowed books from public library and my school library...I learn the alphabets and polish up my writings...and...that's about it...I didn't learn the grammar (as I believe, learning it from a teacher is better AND I didn't try to learn how to read the Quran, bcoz I REALLY respect the sanctity of this Holy Book and dun wanna destroy it by reading the Quran in a wrong way)...

A part from Surah Al-Anbiya' (the Prophets) of Al-Qur'an

My chance finally came when I have another chance to learn one more foreign language in UKM...so, for 2nd semester in my 3rd year, I took Arabic, or Bahasa Arab Asas I...kinda tough, can say, bcoz kbanyakan yg amik sbjek tu yg mmg ada asas Bahasa Arab dri sekolah rendah and I can't believe ada kwn sekelas sy dlm tu kelas, yg actually bljr Arab dri ekolah rendah, then sekolah memengah msuk sekolah agama (yg konfirm kna amik Arab smpai SPM) tp skali msuk kelas arab nie, dia sndri mngaku sma ak yg dia bnyak perkataan arab yg dia sdh xingat....goshhhh.....

Lingua Latina (Latin, Bahasa Latin)

This is the language of my religion, Roman Catholic...as I hailed from a Latin rite Catholic church, I should have a bit knowledge of this language as well, but sadly to say, I only know the existence of this language when I was in Matriculation....far more late than I first encountered Arabic...

since I first heard of this language in Gregorian chant, a sacred Roman Catholic music, I also fell in love with the language....but unfortunately, I didn't had the chance to learn it formally...

When I was in UKM, I had found myself a strong desire to memorise most of usual Catholic prayers in Latin, I started with Our Father (Pater Noster), Hail Mary (Ave Maria) and Glory Be (Gloria Patri)...

then I start to recite my daily Breviary in Latin (though it is in Pre-Vatican II format, which is longer and a bit confusing at first, but eventually I have mastered the rubrics and a bit of its Church Calendar, which is more complicated than Vatican II Church Calendar)...

It continues with my mastery in reciting Apostles' Creed (Credo, both long and short one), Angelus, Salve Regina, Regina Caeli as well as Grace before and after Meal. wohoo....klu ak berusaha lagi, maybe aku dptlah hafal kbnyakan doa2 Gereja dlm bhsa Latin...

Regina Caeli Laetare, Alleluia, quia quem meruisti portare, Alleluia....*a part from Regina caeli prayer*

Sometimes, I feel envied with those Muslims, bcoz they still retain their prayers in Arabic (and indeed they can't change the language, becoz their religion prohibit them to do so...), but personally, I think every Catholics should know how to recite the prayers in Latin and memorise some of it...that'll make them remember that they ARE Roman Catholics, not just Catholics or plain Christians...

whoaaa...panjangnya ayatan ttg bhsa2 yg aku minat nie....soooo....apa2 pun, bahasa nie lh yg mmbuatkn aku tetap bersemangat...biarpun aku xmungkin dpt kuasai semua, tp minat akan tetap mmbuatkn aku tetap mau bljr lbh lagi....

Oklah, itu ja...daa~

crdt pix: Google Images

Trinity Sunday: the Base of Christian Belief

2010-05-29T21:13:00.008+08:00

This is the base of all Christians, to believe in the Trinity of God Almighty. This is what differentiates Christians from others (Jews and Muslims) and it is a symbol of hope for all of them.

As usual, I wanna share with all of you, one of the great hymns of the Universal Church that give praise to God the Almighty, the Te Deum.

Let us all Christians praise the greatness of our God! Alleluia!

p/s: the English translation is from Wikipedia...hehe...:p

TE DEUM

Te Deum laudamus:

te Dominum confitemur.

Te aeternum Patrem

omnis terra veneratur.

We praise thee, O God :
we acknowledge thee to be the Lord.
All the earth doth worship thee :
the Father everlasting.

Tibi omnes Angeli,

tibi Caeli et universae Potestates:

Tibi Cherubim et Seraphim

incessabili voce proclamant:

Sanctus: Sanctus:

Sanctus Dominus Deus Sabaoth.

To thee all Angels cry aloud :
the Heavens, and all the Powers therein.
To thee Cherubin and Seraphin :
continually do cry,
Holy, Holy,

Holy Lord God of Sabaoth;

Pleni sunt caeli et terra

maiestatis gloriae tuae.

Te gloriosus Apostolorum chorus:

Te Prophetarum laudabilis numerus:

Te Martyrum candidatus laudat exercitus.

Heaven and earth are full

of the Majesty of thy glory.

The glorious company of the Apostles : praise thee.

The goodly fellowship of the Prophets : praise thee.

The noble army of Martyrs : praise thee.

Te per orbem terrarum

sancta confitetur Ecclesia:

Patrem immensae maiestatis:

Venerandum tuum verum et unicum Filium:

Sanctum quoque Paraclitum Spiritum.

The holy Church throughout all the world :
doth acknowledge thee;
The Father : of an infinite Majesty;
Thine honourable, true : and only Son;
Also the Holy Ghost : the Comforter.

Tu Rex gloriae, Christe.

Tu Patris sempiternus es Filius.

Tu ad liberandum suscepturus hominem,

non horruisti Virginis uterum.

Thou art the King of Glory : O Christ.
Thou art the everlasting Son : of the Father.
When thou tookest upon thee to deliver man :
thou didst not abhor the Virgin's womb.

Tu devicto mortis aculeo,

aperuisti credentibus regna caelorum.

Tu ad dexteram Dei sedes, in gloria Patris.

Iudex crederis esse venturus. (Kneel)

When thou hadst overcome the sharpness of death :
thou didst open the Kingdom of Heaven to all believers.
Thou sittest at the right hand of God : in the glory of the Father.
We believe that thou shalt come : to be our Judge.

Te ergo quaesumus, tuis famulis subveni,

quos pretioso sanguine redemisti.

We therefore pray thee, help thy servants :
whom thou hast redeemed with thy precious blood.

Aeterna fac cum Sanctis tuis

in gloria numerari.

Salvum fac populum tuum Domine,

et benedic haereditati tuae.

Et rege eos, et extolle illos

usque in aeternum.

Make them to be numbered with thy Saints :

in glory everlasting.
O Lord, save thy people :
and bless thine heritage.

Govern them :

and lift them up for ever.

Per singulos dies, benedicamus te.

Et laudamus nomen tuum in saeculum,

et in saeculum saeculi.

Day by day : we magnify thee;
And we worship thy Name :

ever world without end.

Dignare Domine die isto,

sine peccato nos custodire.

Miserere nostri Domine,

miserere nostri.

Vouchsafe, O Lord :

to keep us this day without sin.
O Lord, have mercy upon us :

have mercy upon us.

Fiat misericordia tua Domine super nos,

quemadmodum speravimus in te.

O Lord, let thy mercy lighten upon us :
as our trust is in thee.

In te Domine speravi:

non confundar in aeternum.

O Lord, in thee have I trusted :
let me never be confounded.

Pentecost: The Descent of the Holy Spirit

2010-05-22T13:00:00.003+08:00

hmm...esok (23 Mei) ialah Hari Raya Pentakosta, hari yang mengingatkan semua umat Kristian ttg kedatangan Roh Kudus ke atas para Pengikut 12 Yesus dan Bonda Maria. sememangnya dan selayaknya peristiwa ini diingati dengan sukacita, kerana Dialah yang memimpin hati kita dalam melakukan segala sesuatu.

Buat semua kwn2 Kristian saya, Selamat Hari Raya Pentakosta!

dibawah nie adalah Madah Pentakosta (atau dlm istilah Latin, sequentia) yang dinyanyikan dalam Misa Kudus, yakni selepas Bacaan Kedua. Terjemahan BM dia tu saya buat sndri, so ia tak rasmi, aku just roughly terjemah dari terjemahan Inggeris dia...=)

Veni Sancte Spiritus

Veni, Sancte Spiritus,

et emitte caelitus

lucis tuae radium.

(Datanglah, Roh Kudus,

Hantarlah dari syurga,

Sinar cahayaMu.)

Veni, pater pauperum,

veni, dator munerum

veni, lumen cordium.

(Datanglah, Bapa para papa,

datanglah pemberi rahmat,

datanglah, cahaya kalbu.)

Consolator optime,

dulcis hospes animae,

dulce refrigerium.

(Pelipur raya,

utusan manis sang jiwa,

penghibur manis.)

In labore requies,

in aestu temperies

in fletu solatium.

(Rehatku dalam lelah,

tenangku dalam bara,

hiburanku dalam rintih.)

O lux beatissima,

reple cordis intima

tuorum fidelium.

(Ya Nur Maha Kudus,

penuhi kalbu ini,

umatMu di Bumi. )

Sine tuo numine,

nihil est in homine,

nihil est innoxium.

(Tanpa titipan IlahiMu,

kami takkan bermakna,

segalanya marabahaya.)

Lava quod est sordidum,

riga quod est aridum,

sana quod est saucium.

(Basuhlah yang najis,

air yang gersang,

sembuhkan yang luka.)

Flecte quod est rigidum,

fove quod est frigidum,

rege quod est devium.

(Lembutkanlah yang tegar,

hangatkanlah yang sejuk,

Luruskanlah yang salah.)

Da tuis fidelibus,

in te confidentibus,

sacrum septenarium.

(Kurniailah mereka,

yang mengharapkanMu,

rahmat yang 7 itu.)

Da virtutis meritum,

da salutis exitum,

da perenne gaudium,

Amen.

(Berilah ganjaran buat yang benar,

berilah keselamatan saat maut kami,

berilah jua sukacita abadi. Amin.)

sudah hantar.....

2010-05-22T01:20:00.003+08:00

hmm...nielah hasil kerja saya *yg teruk* n sudah dihantar khamis lepas....

biarpun nda berapa bagus sgt hasil eksperimen sy, tp.....huuhuhu....at least aku sdah buat yg trmampu....Puji Tuhan...

huhuhu....tayang muka dlm tesis....

muka depan tesis......

eksyen jap dgn tesis sndri sblum hntar.....

Tesis~

2010-05-04T17:56:00.003+08:00

sejak aku masuk ke Tahun ke-3 nie, aku dibebani kepeningan....ketakutan, kerisauan pun ada....

teringat masa mula-mula mau paham tesis aku...aku sampai kena marah depan-depan senior...sebab lambat pick up apa yang my senior tu ajar...

teringat masa tu...aku rasa mau nangis, tapi aku xmampu...dalam hati, aku cakap ja...xpalh, marah jaklah...aku terima...sbb aku tau...ini salah satu dripd proses pmbelajaran...

tringat jgk masa tu...sy antara org trlambat start lab....ada lg yg lbh lmbt dri aku....tp ak kira yang lambatlh antara smua yg guna lab tu...

tringat pulak...masa mau abis semester 1 3rd year, sy sedih tgk kwn2 junior sy balik....tp sy stay dsni...utk buat lab....and rsanya time tu pun sy still jugak dgn kmalasan....

Semester 2 3rd year brmula sgt awal....sblum Krismas....and sy smbut Krismas di Semenanjung utk prtama kali *dan mngkin utk kali terakhir, klu ak xkrja dsni Semenanjung....*

Start tahun baru 2010, mula lh azam mau jd yg lbih baik....mau lbh bljrlh knon....and time nie lab masih berjalan sprti biasa....dgn kelas2...

Rasanya tahun nie menjadi saksi suatu transformasi....aku mula melihat sgala ssuatu dgn perspektif yg brbeza...yup...biarpn kbnykan orrang mlihat ssuatu perkara itu secara negatif, akan tetapi, aku mampu mlihatnya dri segi yg positif....

aku kembali aktif dgn teater, biarpn aku tahu bhwa aku patut lbh mnumpukan pd tahun akhir ini...bnyak skali kenangan aku dgn diorg....biarpn hnya satu semester, tp ianya mmberi kesan mndalam di hati ini...

aku kembali brjalan dalam keortodoksan aku beragama...mula mncari kembali Keindahan Tradisi Gereja yang lama dilupakan dan sering dianggap purba dan ketinggalan zaman...mula lebih menghargai Kehadiran SejatiNya dalam Ekaristi...menjadi lebih konservatif dalam cara dia memandang Gereja dan pd masa yg sama, lbh mengerahkan usaha mmahami kepercayaan lain atas nama Toleransi...

akhirnya...aku sudah ke saat itu...menyempurnakan apa yg aku seharusnya sempurnakan lebih awal...biarpun aku agak lmbat dlm mnyempurnakannya, tp aku percaya, aku sudah melakukan yang termampu...demi sebuah perjuangan....

pada 4hb Mei 2010...3.40 petang, tamat sudah perjuangan aku...Pembentangan Tesis aku sudah selesai....dan sudah pasti....selepas aku menghantar tesis lengkap dan menyempurnakan subjek U2, aku akan selesai dgn pengajian ini....aku berdoa pada Tuhan, agar aku tidak mengulang apa2 subjek dlm 3rd year ini...kerana aku rsa trlalu teruk semasa mnjawab soalan peperiksaan...

Ucapan utk diri sendiri...semoga berjaya ya Hailey, dan biarkan Tuhan bertakhta dihatimu selalu....

UKM Di Hatiku...2007-2010 (Part III)

2010-04-18T02:09:00.015+08:00

sori lambat sgt post...:D

hmm....part III, aku akan recall balik apa yg brlaku masa start Minggu Mesra Mahasiswa UKM 2007 sampailah aku habis my 1st year....tgklah mana yang aku dpt bg gambar2 brkaitan...

kali nie aku guna konsep "less talk, picture more"...sambil2 tu ada ceritalh jgk skit2, dmna2 tmpt yg bersesuaian...

Minggu Mesra Mahasiswa UKM 2007

gmbar2 time orientasi? aku xda pic lngsung...kcuali this....itupun aku bru amik tahun nie (2010)...the last reminiscence of my First Year~

muka masa Form 5 diletak dlm Kad Pelajar Sementara nie...:0

yeah! Kolej yg aku dpt masa First Year dlu...Kolej Pendeta Za'ba...=.=

bilik aku masa 1st sem, 1st year....nie bukan masa 3M tu, nie msa pertengahan sem tu sdah...actually aku ada rummate, 1st Chinese, tp dia lari ke bilik kwnnya yg Chinese jgk...then Malay, tp dia pn lari jgk....huhuhu...apalah nasib...tp xpalah....sebab......aku conquer dua-dua katil! muahahahah!! (cdt pic to Tojo)

aktiviti kegemaran...tidur....ahhh...heaven....*biarpun tilamnya nipis...ko baring atas dia pn mcm ko baring atas papan...tp empuk skitlah, sbb ada tilam tu...:D (cdt pic to tojo)

a bit about 3M nie...ada Perang DECTAR....hmm...time2 nie Kolej Zaba mmg still dianggap picisan lh...iyalah, gila ko mau duduk lama2 dlm DECTAR tu, sdahlah panas, kolej jauh lagi....nda tahan lama dlm dewan tu....knun2 tricknya "ksi kluar budak2 smua tu sikit-siiiikit....."

padahal mmg diorg nda mau si taruk budak2 tu smua lama2 di dewan....sbb nnt pak cik bas mngamuk...wakakakkaka~~

Minggu Pertama Kuliah

minggu nie, smua Mahasiswa (ceh, knun2lah...) mendaftar subjek utk pertama kalinya....

time nie aku xjumpa lagi senior utk kos ku nie...n xterfikir pun ttg senior nie....pendek kata, minggu tu mmg aku all of my own lh....

then, pd suatu hari...masa di dlm bas mau pgi kuliah...aku duduk berseorangan...seorang gurl mnegur aku...dia ckplah:

Gurl: Kau dari Sabah ka?

Aku: Iya...oh, ko pn Sabah jgk? mcmmna kau tau?

Gurl: nda...itu hari sa nampak ko pakai baju KML...jd sa agak ko dri Sabahlah...

Aku: Ohh...hehe...iya kan?

Gurl: Iyalh bah...hehe....apa kos ko ambik?

Aku: Sa amik Mikrobiologi...

Gurl: btul bah? sa senior ko lh nie...ko junior sa...sa pun Mikrobio jgk...

start dri sni aku mula kenal dgn my first senior di UKM....Syleenthina Steven, or nama pendeknya, Eein...

sayalah Syleenthina Steven....undilah saya.....hahaha...

nie plak senior kedua yg sy jumpa di UKM...kwn si Eein jgk, namanya Christy Yong...tp aku n kwn2 dia panggil nma hujung Cinanya, Yun....dia mix Dusun + Cina (Sino-Kadazan)...

senior2 ber-camwhoring...hehehe..

Minggu-Minggu Berikutnya di UKM utk Semester Pertama...

minggu2 berikutnya penuh suka duka...time nie lh aku mula berkenal2an dgn Kehidupan Kampus nie...assignments, kuliah (yg boleh aku skip2...di Matriks dulu mmg nda bleh skip...kna amik kehadiran...), kawan2 baru...and benda yg aku paling xsuka dari zaman aku sekolah lagi....Ko-Kurikulum!

sy pun tgk2lah apa Ko-K yg ada time tu...Koir, penuh...Sukan, nda minat...Khidmat Masyarakat, mcm bosan...Teater?

hmm....teringat masa di Matriks dlu, ada audition utk cari pelakon Drama Krismas di KML...aku pun cuba2 nasiblah...tp kan...OMG......mcm haram~

So I decided to take Performing Art Theatre as my extra-curricular subject....a brand new stuff for me...hope I can learn something from it...=)

(crdt pix to Tojo...)

watak aku sebagai pontianak p*nd*n.....hehehe....hot tak pose I?

aku dgn kengkwn2 teater lain...masa before show simulasi....=)

another crazy stunt from the bunch of hantu...

sudah abis show...meraban amik gmbr lagi!

Minggu-Minggu Dalam Semester Kedua

yg aku cerita nie spnjang yg aku ingatlah n mngikut kebolehdapatan gambar2...

apa yg berlaku?

= Pementasan Teater Khas KTR...Ara...

= Mula berkenalan dengan CSSUKM

= Mula berkenalan dengan Annual Dinners...pakai baju grand2...cantik2...

= Another semester with Ko-K Teater....aku berlakon lagi....*not gila kuasa, tp sbb xda org lain lg mau berlakon...*

First Annual Dinner dlm hidup aku...Annual Dinner Zaba...

(crdt camera to Tojo, yg amik gmbarnya, aku...)

antara Annual Dinner Pertama yg aku pergi....Annual Dinner kolej aku sndri...

kwn2 satu meja aku...nasib smua aku kenal.....ada bbrapa org lg sbnrnya...tp ntah, blum dtg lg kot time nie...

hiasan time Dinner Zaba 2008....boleh tahanlah...=)

Yeah! Pementasan khas KTR...Ara...aku lagi....dgn baju2 merahnya and tanduk2nya...(pix credit to Haikal KTR)

tanduk mantap~:p

hantu2 majuk...:D

hantu2 marah dgn bos Jin Pokok Ara...

gete...antara aku dgn hantu galah (dibawa Kak Ain...)

the ultimate! Simulasi Teater Ko-K semester 2...Mahkamah Keadilan! (pic credit to Sabri Ko-K Teater, Azir Rezha and Ko-K gangs...)

kemana telur-telur itu berada?!?

geng produksi and pelakon...

tgh mnghafal skrip utk kali terakhir sblum raptai penuh....=)

Annual Dinner kedua yg aku join...Annual Dinner CSSUKM...kinda different, sbb dibuat di luar UKM...(pic credit to Greg CSSUKM)

masa mau abis dinner tu, ada satu sesi yg dpanggil Dance Floor Session....mmg mcm club lh time tu...smua mnari2...new stuff for me...since I never attend to any clubs...*and wont go to such place...*

xsilap aku time nie, diorg psg lagu dusun ka apa tu...tu yg nmpak mcm sumayau tu...heheh~

me and the glamorous gurls...:D

the attendees for the night~~

there were many other things yg ak join time semester dua nie...cuma aku sndri xdpt ingat and malas mau selongkar2 CD berisi gmbr2 msa 1st year...tp apa yg pasti, semua tu terpahat dlm ingatan...

okay, utk part seterusnya nnt, aku cerita plak pasal my 2nd year....

daa...~~

UKM Di Hatiku...2007-2010 (Part II)

2010-04-17T17:31:00.008+08:00

Aku sndri xsabar mau letak entry nie...takut aku busy plak kan....so, here it goes...

lepas aku dapat surat tawaran ke UKM tu, mmg hati melonjak2 gembiralah....why?

1) sbb first time akan ke Semenanjung....sblum nie xpernah dtg pun!

2) sbb akan belajar di salah sebuah universiti terkemuka di Malaysia...yalah, sapa yg nda kenal UKM, kan? (tapi...kalau ak sebut nama tempat dimana UKM nie berada, iaitu Bangi...semua orang yg mndgr nama perkataan tu akan mengerut keningnya....."huh? bangi? dimana tu? dekat KL ka?...")

3) sbb bakal angkasawan negara adalah dari UKM....duh~

naa...hambek ko....kalau aku nie sehensom n sepandai dia...mesti aku pun di angkasa sudah nie, kan? jangankan angkasa...ke planet Uranus aku pgi...hehe....*xda kaitan langsung*

....tp yg sedihnya...

1) sbb akan berjauhan dri keluarga....jauuuuuuuuuh sgt....

2) bakal menukar loghatnya dari bahasa Melayu Sabah kepada bahasa Melayu standard (saya jadi "saye", nda tau jadi "tak tau"....hehe...)

3) xda kawan dari sabah....bakal dtg ke Semenanjung berseorangan...parents xikut...:(

n bermula dari pertengahan bulan Mei tu aku mula menyediakan diri utk fly ke Semenanjung nie...

Sebelum Naik Flight

a) beli tiket flight dari Air Asia....hmm...mahal jgk ohh...RM 200 ++ mcm tu...tp xpa bha....dari aku naik MAS, lagi berganda2 mahal...

b) buat medical check up...nie plak adalah salah satu requirements yg diorg suruh....hntar laporan kesihatan semasa pendaftaran....

hehehe...stetoskop dia guna yg classical gtu....hehhehe....*gila...*

aku buat medical check up di Hospital Duchess of Kent Sandakan...and masa tgh mnunggu2 giliran utn di-checkup tu...tetiba trjumpa dua orang manusia...n salah seorgnya tu ak kenal sgt2.....si Jacinta!!!

sapa yg nda prnah nmpak Hospital Duchess of Kent, nie dia....besar gtu....hehehe...

hahhha...xsangka dpt jmpa dia dlm hospital tu...aku tnya dialh, dia buat apa sana....then dia ckp, buat medical check up utk requirement msuk uni jgk....then disitu aku sgt2 terkejut jgk.......sbb dia pun dpt UKM!! sama course plak tu! woohoo!!!!! akhirnya ada kepastian disitu yg aku akan dpt kwn sedaerah dgn aku....:p

n kwn dia tu pun sbnrnya dpt UKM jgk.....tp dia fakulti lainlah....Sains Sosial n Kemanusiaan...course ELS, English Language Studies...namanya Florina Matthew...:D

dah...itulah cerita utk medical checkup nie...dri situ, konfirm akan ada kwn di UKM nnt...at least yg dri daerah sama lh...:D

c) bayar yuran pengajian....hmm.....kdg2 sedih plak bila mengenangkan part nie...yalah, sudahlah di sandakan xda Bank Islam...then yang paling dekat pnya Bank Islam time tu pn di saaaana Lahad Datu....so dgn segala kesusahannya...my brother pun terpaksa memandu ke Lahad Datu nie...*which was his first drive to that place*

kami pun berputar2lah mencari2 Bank Islam di Lahad Datu tu, dgn bertanya2 jgk sma org2 disana.....at last jumpa jgk bank tu...tapi....

'TUTUP'

huhuhuhuh.....down lagi....

apa xtutupnya, masa sdh smpai di bank tu, dah pukul 5 ptg dah....=.=

huhuhuhu....sedey2.....tp xapalh...so sy, my daddy n my brother balik Sandakan dgn down tahap dewa....

the next2 weeknya, my mom mau pgi sna KK, mau jumpa kakaknya....so, alang2 sdah pgi KK, teruslah dia bayar skali ak punya yuran tu....akhirnya terbayar jgk...fuhh...~

d) beli pakaian....hmm....this one...mmg xda banyak sgt pun brg ak beli...sbb mmg rancang utk beli di UKM ja nnt...paling2 pn ak beli baju putih ja....sehelai.....maklumlah, time tu my parents ada masalah fulus sikit...so beli ala kadar ja...

e) persediaan rohani....well, sejak dri dlu lagi, klu ak keluar dari Sandakan n bila smpai ke satu tempat baru, aku akan trtanya2.....mana church paling dekat ah? huuhuhu....well, persoalan tu kekal bermain2 di kepala spanjang masa nie...

ada ka church mcm bgini di Malaysia...? mesti ada pnya....:p

then, di church Sandakan nie, diorg ada sistem SITA (Stay In Touch Always), yg mndaftar semua pljr Catholics dri Sabah Sarawak yg bljr di Semenanjung nie....supaya xterputus hubungan dgn church...

aku pun isi jaklah borang utk tu barang...then aku hntar sma salah seorang pemimpin belia di church tmpt sy selalu dtg...namanya si Airene...:D

f) hmm...rasanya semua sudah sedia...

MASANYA SUDAH TIBA...SAAT-SAAT PERPISAHAN.....

alamak....time nielh aku mula sebak2...especially masa aku di depan pintu berlepas tu....aku tau, my mom mau nangis sudah tu....my daddy cool ja, n my brother as well...tp jauh dlm hati diorg....diorg sgt2 brharap dpt ikut aku utk temankan aku walau seketika di sana Semenanjung....huhuhu...

my family.......nie masa makan malam bersama sebelum Krismas 2005....ehhee...gambar basi dah...:p

and saat2 aku sudah lepas pintu berlepas tu, lambaian terakhir tu buat aku rasa sedih tersangat2....nasib ja aku xnangis...n pd masa tu aku berdoa kpd Tuhan:

wahhh...tetiba jd alim sekejap...:p

"Ya TUHANku...aku tahu inilah jalan yg Kau mahu aku lalui....biarpun kesedihan ini harus aku lalui, namun Kau mahu ku lalui jua, kerana ada hikmah disebalik semua ini. Aku mohon padaMu, ya TUHAN...biarlah kehendakMu terjadi keatasku....dan aku mohon padaMu, lindungilah dan berkatilah kedua ibu bapa ku yang sentiasa berjuang dan bertungkus lumus mahu aku berjaya dalam hidup ini...

Semoga perlindunganMu menaungi aku sepanjang perjalanan ini dan ke dalam tanganMu ya TUHAN, ku serahkan diriku....Amen."

dengan doa tersebut, aku mampu menenangkan diri....and aku masuk le dlm pesawat dgn hati tenang dan excited....sbb nie lh first time perjalanan jauh aku ke Tanah Besar Semenanjung...

oh ya....sebelum tu...lupa mau bgtau...msa nie, my second brother masih di Semenanjung....dia kerja disana...krja dimna ntah...lupa sdah nie...hehee...

Masa Dalam Flight

aku diam2 jak....xda apa2 pn aku buat....sbb xda perasaan....sudahlah makanan kna bayar...mahal plak tu...sh*t btul....=.=

aku mau makan bnyak mcm nie dlm flight...bleh??? buduh...ingat flight tu daddy ko pnya???

Masa Sampai Di Tanah Semenanjung

muahahahahahha~!!!!!!!! akhirnya~~~AKHIRNYA~~!

aku smpai jugak di semenanjung nie....syukur pada Tuhan sbb cinta kasihNya kekal!

hmm..aku smpai time tengahari...mmg panas gila lh time tu...ditambah sakit telinga...(sbb perubahan tekanan dlm telinga mmbuatkan aku jd tuli seketika....:p)

sudah dapat bagasi yg byk bagai...(xbnyak pn, dua beg besar ja...:p), aku kluar dri balai ketibaan tu dgn dijemput abg kedua aku...dia mmg sdah tnggu disna...hehehe....

then, aku nmpak ssuatu....banner UKM...hmm....abgku tnya klu ada bas yg amik student pgi UKM...aku ckp, xtau...so, abgku fikir, org yg pegang banner UKM tu org yg amik student pgi UKM...so, aku pn ikut jaklah tu org....naik bas UKM....dgn ntah berapa org ja dlm tu bas...ia pun berjalan mnyusuri jalan2 ke UKM...direct terus ke kolej dimana aku akan tinggal sepanjang semester baru nnt, Kolej Pendeta Za'ba...

peristiwa ada prempuan mati terjatuh dri tingkat 4 di Kolej Zaba...well, nie berlaku masa aku dalam UKM dah...hehehe...saja mau taruk nie gmbr....sbb xda idea mau letak apa utk Kolej Zaba nie...

huhuhu...panjangnya part nie...msti kmurg busyan kn? oklah....next part aku akan cerita ttg Minggu Mesra Mahasiswa (3M) UKM sesi 2007-2008 nie, okay?

credit of pix: Yahoo Image Search, Flicker, Kosmo

daa...~~

UKM Di Hatiku...2007-2010 (Part I)

2010-04-17T02:08:00.010+08:00

aku xda gmbr2 utk dikongsi bagi part I nie...tp apa2 pun, aku akan try bekalkannya di mana2 yg patut....itupun klu adalah...

tmpt aku berada sepanjang pertengahan tahun 2006 hingga 2007...Kolej Matrikulasi Labuan....gmbr tu plak mnunjukkan Dewan Mutiara, dewan yg mmg mcm "Hell" especially time orientasi dulu...pack mau mati!!!

well, masa sudah habis Matrikulasi around April 2007, aku balik Sandakan dengan seribu ketidaktahuan.....tp juga dgn seribu pengharapan, sbb pd masa tu jgklah aku mndpt tau aku dapat panggilan temuduga utk program Ijazah Sarjana Muda Pendidikan....aku ada mohon Program Pendidikan dalam UPU ku hari tu....Pendidikan dlm bidang Biologi n Kimia...satu di UKM, satu di UPM, and satu di UM....

well, masa tu aku mmg xtau lngsung ttg tatacara utk pgi temuduga....aku just anggap msuk bilik temuduga tu kna kemas n kna brkeyakinan...tp yg selebihnya tu aku xtau....jadi.....

aku pakai mcm nie? sorilah....aku pun xtau ada wujud pakaian bgini masa zaman 2007 tu....hahahah~~

MASA TEMUDUGA..

Penemuduga: Mengapa kamu memohon untuk program Pendidikan?

Aku: Saya memohon program ini kerana ingin mencari ilmu dan segala-gala yang perlu dalam menjadi guru yang baik

Penemuduga: (membelek-belek result MUET) hmm...MUET kamu dapat Band 4...[In English] Apa subjek yang kamu ingin ajar?

Aku: [In broken English...very-very broken] Saya ingin mengajar Biologi.

Penemuduga : (tersenyum) [In English] Mengapa kamu ingin mengajar Biologi?

Aku : [In broken English....broken 2 kali ganda] Kerana saya sangat berminat dengan subjek Biologi dan ingin berkongsi minat tersebut dengan murid-murid saya.

Penemuduga: [back to BM] MUET dapat band 4, tapi kamu bercakap Inggeris macam budak band 1....

di sini, aku dah down tahap dewa dewi....*=.=*

Penemuduga: Okay, cuba buat demonstrasi mengajar...

Aku: [dengan muka terkejut] hah? err...ok ok.....

time nie lah aku baru tau, interview nie mau kena buat demostrasi mengajar...

D.E.A.D.~~

well, nielah cara aku....buat aksi meletup2...hahahaha~gila.....nnt xpasal2 plak UMS tu trbakar....:p

Aku: [di hadapan papan putih] err...emm....[n tiba-tiba disampuk penemuduga] "Good Morning Teacher".....[balik kpd aku]...err..."Good Morning students"...

time tu aku trus msuk mngajar Bab Pertama Biologi Tingkatan 4.....Pengenalan Sel.....matilah....time tu aku guna analogi sel dgn batu-bata....batu-bata adalah bahan binaan asas bangunan, manakala sel pula adalah bahan binaan asas bagi organisma.....well, analogi tu mmg logik.....cuma cara penyampaian time tu...yang.....

TOTALLY OUT-OF-THE-WORLD ZERO CONFIDENCE LEVEL~~~!!!

so.....aku kluar dari bilik temuduga tu dgn perasaan down tahap bab*.....opppsss....

Oh ya....lupa mau bgtau...temuduga tu berlaku di UMS....pd hari temuduga tu jgk ak bertolak dari Sandakan ke UMS, KK....prjlnn xamik masa lama, 6 jam jak...(xlamalah knun)...

then smpai KK aku trus amik teksi pgi UMS....(n that was the 1st time aku dtg sana...first impression??? CANTEK SIOT~~~!)

then, abis ja interview, aku direct balik sandakan...aku ingat lagi...aku salah naik bas dari UMS pgi Inanam.....aku ternaik bas pgi Sembulan ka apa....hehee...ntah, aku lupa sdah nie....tp dgn kebaikan pemandu bas tu, dia ksi turun aku jgk kat Terminal Bas Inanam sana....then awal pagi the next day tu jgk aku smpai semula ke Sandakan....penat + down + bingung...

Rasanya mmg aku tau sudah result interview tu...n itu mmbuat aku terfikir...apa course yang akan ak dapat di uni. nie nnt?

Rasanya, dlm bulan Mei 2007, surat tawaran dari universiti dah sampai.....satu perkara gembiranya, ia dtg dri UKM!!!

U. K. M.........?

"........"

"............................................"

"................................................................................................"

haruslah aku dpt yg jauh...sbb aku xmohon pn kat UMS sana....:p

tp, aku terfikir, apa course yang aku dpt ah? baca surat tawaran....Mikrobiologi.....hmm....woohoo!!!!!

plate berisi kuman...ehehhee...I like microbes!!!

best! best! antara pengkhususan yang aku mahukan sejak zaman sekolah lagi....kajikuman~~

biarpun ia pilihan ke-5 (sekaligus menguburkan harapan aku utk mnjadi ahli forensik, which was my 4th choice at that time...), tapi, aku tetap bersyukur sbb Mikrobiologi nie pn mmg sebahagian dari ilmu yang aku minati.....nasib jak nama aku xdilelong2 ke uni2 yang byk kos2 dia msih xda student....fuh~~~

hmm....rsanya itu jaklah Part I nie...nnt aku sambung lagi.....apa persediaan yg aku buat spnjang sblum, semasa n slepas terbang ke Tanah Malaya nie....:D

credit of pix: Yahoo Image Search, Flicker

daa...~

Terkesima Seketika...

2010-04-07T02:29:00.003+08:00

Dia marah kat aku...

sedey...

mengapa kau marah?

tak layan aku, tak bercakap dengan aku...

kalau aku ada buat salah,

okay, aku minta maaf...

aku minta maaf banyak-banyak sebab buat kau terluka dan terasa hati...

tapi...

kalau kau diam,

bagaimana bisa aku tahu fikiran kamu...?

mengapa kamu marah kat aku?

aku bersedih...

aku tak mahu perasaan sedih ini menyelubungi jiwa...

sekurang-kurangnya beritahulah...agar aku tidak tertanya-tanya lagi...:(

wahai gadis,

aku mohon maaf darimu...

walaupun aku tak tahu apa sebabnya...

maafkan aku, maafkan aku...maafkan aku.....

EXAMINATION SCHEDULE!

2010-04-05T03:41:00.003+08:00

12.04.2010 - Fizik Gunaan

14.04.2010 - Mikrobiologi Persekitaran

22.04.2010 - Bahasa Arab Asas I

23.04.2010 - Metabolisme Mikrob

28.04.2010 - Fermentasi Industri

somewhere in May - Viva for Thesis...

WISH ME ALL THE BEST! AND ALL THE BEST FOR MY FRIENDS AS WELL, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO ARE IN THEIR FINAL YEAR. MAY GOD BE WITH US! AMEN!

Yup...They have been chosen!

2010-03-20T05:57:00.006+08:00

In Nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti, Amen.

Saya, Hailey Thomas Goitom, setelah diperkenankan Duli-duli yang Maha Mulia dan Para Ahli Kehormat Persatuan Pelajar Katolik, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia, ingin mengisytiharkan para barisan hadapan Majlis Eksekutif Baru, CSSUKM untuk tahun 2010-2011.

(skema juak ayat aku nie...:p)

The President

Julian Lau (Iulianus Lauensis)

The Vice President

Agatha Asik Sayu (Agatha Asik-Sayoensis)

The Secretary

Stepheny Lunja (Stefania Lunjaensis)

The Vice Secretary

Sukova Taran (Sukova Taranensis)

The Treasurer

Ernie James (Ernii Iacobiensis)

Ministry of Website and Publication

Steve George (Stefanus Georgius)

Ministry of Liturgical Affairs

Jenna Desiree Robert (Ienna-Desiria Robertus)

Ministry of Music

Maxolvin Sintore (Maxolvinus Sintorius)

AND

Roy Sterken (Roius Sterkenus)

Ministry of Outreach

Luke Kenny Doring (Lucam-Kenisiam Doringiensis)

Ministry of Special Tasks

Christine Carltina Charles (Christina-Carltina Carolus)

Maka dengan ini, Majlis Eksekutif CSSUKM tahun 2009-2010 telah berakhir dengan rasminya saat Datuk Bendahara Seri Bridget Lee Mei Fon telah melafaz sumpah gugur jawatan.

*miahahahaha....mood gila time pagi2...*

anyway, tahniah kpd smua yg terpilih....may God always lead all of u in bringing CSSUKM to a new level...gambatte to all!!!!

*lupa mau bgtau....gmbar2 diorg nie aku amik dri FB diorg...thanks sbb FB mmbiarkan aku men-copy past gmbar diorg...muahahahha~~~

I still love them eventhough we are different in how we worship God...

2010-03-09T18:21:00.003+08:00

not all of my family members are Catholics (or Christian)...

my grandfather (at my mom's side), was a pagan...he doesn't embrace any of the Semitic religions, eventhough most of his children had embraced either Islam or Christianity...and then after that, in 2000 something, my mom went back to Keningau, the place where my grandpa live...He had already embraced Islam...kebetulan plak di Keningau sana mmg ada komuniti orang Dusun yg beragama Islam, so tak heranlah...

I dunno his Muslim name, but one thing for sure, it's good for him...as he already had some guide in his life...though not in the same line with mine...

well, my grandpa had already know how to perform solat and I guess he is still trying to get into the habit of it...iyalah, kan dia sdah tua...mmg susah sikit mau ksi dia biasakan diri dgn ibadat 5 kali sehari nie...

haa....dis one plak, how the rest of his children smbyg...dlm church...not all of my family members are Catholic....some of them are Protestants (SIB, Anglican, SDA, True Jesus, Calvary etc.)...but still, they are my family...

Field Work ke Kolam Kumbahan UKM.

2010-03-07T01:57:00.005+08:00

Jumaat lepas (jumaat lagi...dlu field work pn jumaat jgk...), aku dan geng2 mikrob lain pgi Kolam Kumbahan UKM (yg aku xprnah tahu kewujudannya....-_-)

apa kami buat disana? mcm biasalah, amik sampel air kumbahan (ewwww.....) utk dikaji apa2 mikrob yg ada didalamnya....

the day was kinda hot, coz mmg panas gila2 time tu...(pagi2 jam 8-9 camtu...) dan satu hal lagi, aku xbreakfast...nasib ja ak nda pengsan, klu pengsan...trus gol masuk dlm kolam kumbahan tu....

pictures tell thousands of "bebelan"....

barang2 yg dperlukan utk amik sampel air kumbahan nie...hand glove kna ada...klu xda, mnyentuhlah ko tu air kumbahan...ak ulangi...air K.U.M.B.A.H.A.N......

well, klu ikut ilmu yg aku ada, ikan yg ada dlm tu kolam xsepatutnya mati, sbb kolam tu mmg semulajadinya menguraikan sisa2 kumbahan yg ada....and mnghasilkan oksigen utk tu kolam....tp since mngkin ada racun dlm tu kolam, tu ada ikan yg mampus tu...ksian tu ikan....R.I.P.....:-(

another dead fish....penyek oh dia...haiya, mcm ikan masin daa....

yg nie hanyut2 plak....sandi' (sadis) eh....

gelagat si Tiqah mengambil bacaan pH dan suhu air kumbahan...hehehehe....

lihat *kolam kumbahanku* yang tenang, damainya alam ciptaan manusia...*nada lagu UKM*

lepas sudah amik sampel2 tu, kakitangan lab bawak tu smua sampel pgi simpan di peti sejuk mana ntah...then jam 2.45 bru kami start buat inoculation dlm medium2 utk difilter....oh ya, kami buat hang-drop jgk, utk tgk apa yg ada pada air kumbahan tu....

bahan2 utk menapis2 air kumbahan tu...

huiyo...ko tau ka apa yg aku n kwn2 nampak time tgk mikrob yg ada? aku nampak protozoa tgh menari2 ballet...berpusing2 umpama planet Bumi berputar pd paksinya...ada jgk mikrob tu yg malu2 kucing kna tengok, trus brenang2 hilang dri pandangan...itu yg kna adjust tu mikroskop spya dpt bubut (kejar) tu kuman...main tapuk-tapuk (sembunyi2) plak ko ah...

hehehe...itu jelah kot....daa....~~

Aku Sukakan Kau!

2010-03-01T23:59:00.002+08:00

Pernyataan berbaur pertanyaan...

Aku Sukakan Kamu....

itu sahaja...terima kasih...

For Catholics Only: What Say You?

2010-02-27T18:32:00.007+08:00

pendapat anda???

sbnrnya gmbr dua pmpuan nie adalah 2 orang "religious sister" di Amerika yg terlibat dlm kerja2 pengguguran bayi...yg nie mmg obviously sesatlah, coz Gereja Katolik mmg mengharamkan sepenuhnya pengguguran nie...

Misa Karnival yg dirayakan di Jerman.....terkejut jgk tgk ada badut disebelah father tu...yg father tu plak, stole dia pn berwarna-warni...hmm.....

yg nie paling ganas...nie berlaku di Costa Rica....sanggup prempuan tu pgi simpan tu Corpus Christi....gila eh...rasanya salah satu keburukan menyambut Corpus Christi dgn tangan is inilah....orang tu maybe xkan makan habis...so, better mnyambut pakai lidah...

ini hanya sebahagian dari "ketakutan" yang dihadapi oleh orang-orang Katolik di bahagian lain di dunia nie...aku xprnah nmpak lagilah bnda2 nie brlaku di Malaysia (kecuali yg sambut Misa dgn pakaian pelik2 tu...sbb kdg2 ada segelintir youths nie kalau dtg Misa, mmg mcm haram...mcm bukan mau jumpa Tuhan, tp mcm mau pgi clubbing...)

tp apa2 pn...as Catholics, kita kena berusaha lbih utk mndalamkan lagi pngetahuan kita ttg agama kita nie...jgn jadikan urusan dunia nie sbg halangan utk mncintai Tuhan dan agama...sbb agama itulah yg akan menjamin kehidupan kita nie lurus...

matahari

2010-02-15T01:31:00.003+08:00

matahari di tengah malam,

menari-nari di pelataran,

mencari sinar As-Syams,

bila dia kehilangan dirinya...

matahari itu sesat,

mencari gelapnya si bulan,

yang hanya memantul terang,

dia sudah menjadi buntu

matahari itu sering gila,

menjenguk gagalnya pelangi malam,

yang selalu terbit bersamanya,

bila gerimis mengundang...

matahari itu akhirnya menyesal,

bila Al-Khalik menuntut cahayaNya,

"Nurmu, wahai matahari,

adalah suluh mereka..."

Hailey Goitom, UKM, 01.36 am, 15 . II . MMX AD

deactivated

2010-02-08T04:05:00.002+08:00

Perhatian: Akaun Facebook saya sudah dinyahaktifkan atas sebab ingin menumpukan perhatian pada FYP (Final Year Project). Oleh sebab itu, saya akan menjadi unavailable melalui Facebook sehinggalah ke suatu masa yang akan diberitahu kelak.

Sekian, Terima Kasih.

Marah

2010-02-08T03:09:00.002+08:00

semua orang marah2 sejak kebelakangan nie...

yup, aku pun sering jgk marah2....cuma...

aku tahu bila mahu marah, bila mahu bertenang...

tapi, seseorang yang aku kenal baru2 nie telah mngejutkan aku...

kemarahannya telah membuatkan aku menjadi bercelaru...

ya, aku xmengetahui semuanya,

namun aku faham ttg padah menyimpan amarah dalam diam...

aku xkan mahu berkias2, sebab perkara ini benar2 telah berlaku...

dan satu saja yang aku mampu katakan....

Wahai TUHAN, kasihanilah kami...utuskanlah kesabaran buat kami semua,

moga2 dgn rahmatMu, kami menjadi insan yang tawaduk dihadapanMu dan diantara sesama kami...

buat kawanku itu, aku sentiasa akan mngingati kamu dalam setiap saat doa pagi, tengahari, petang dan malamku...moga2 Tuhan sentiasa memberi ketenangan jiwa buatmu...

Fieldwork ke Sungkai, Perak

2010-02-07T16:14:00.003+08:00

Jumaat pagi lepas, aku n kwn2 satu course pgi ke Sungkai, Perak. disana dkat Sungai Klah, ada kolam air panas....

perjalanan ke sana amik lbh kurg 2 jam, jalan jam 8, smpai sna lbh kurg 10...kami naik bas Kiffah (mcm biasa)...dlm bas plak kami dsajikan dgn muvi Transformer *yg ada si Megan Fox tu*.....busyan, baik tdur...zzz...

well, kami smua pgi sana bukan mau bersukaria...sbnrnya mau amik sampel air dri kolam air panas utk dibuat sampel bg experiment Makmal Mikrobiologi Persekitaran. and since subjek nie mau mngajar kami org ttg kpelbagaian mikrobiologi di tempat2 yg brbeza (kolam air panas, tanah etc.), kami pun dibawa n jgk diajar mcmmna mau guna gadget2 pengambilan sampel tu...

hahaha....aku bukan mau mngumpat or apalh, tp ada segelintir kwn2 ku nie trlalu mngharap pd kwnnya yg lain tuk amik sampel. bagi akulah, klu bukan kau lagi yg mau amik sampel tu, sapa lagi? bila lagi mau bljr amik sndri sampel2 tu? yg dpt ilmu mngambil sampel tu kwn ko tulh, bukan ko...so sapa yg rugi dsini? ko sndrilah...haishhh....tp nda palh...yg penting dpt sampel, sudah...

kami brtolak balik UKM dlm pkul 2 mcm tu, n then smpai balik UKM dlm jam 4 lbh...dlm bas ak tdur jak...panat!!!!!

bukti ak penat??? kwn2 ku....hehehe...

aliran air panas...klu ko pgi sna mmg nmpaklah wap2 stim yg brkepul2...fuh~~

sampel2 air yg brbotol2...~

smua masih blur2 ayam....hhahahaha....ko tau, bawah pondak nie, adalah aliran air panas...so klu ko brdiri di pondok nie seolah2 ko mandi sauna lh lbh kurg....hahaha~~

ada sstengah sumber air panas tu suhunya 100 drjah, so paham2lh, kan suhu tu bleh mlecurkan kulit ko...tp bleh jgk mmasak telur rebus...hahahah~~~actually there r lumut2 dkat2 area2 dsekeliling batu tu (dmna suhu air dia panas jgk, tp dlm 50-60 degrees...)...and that explains the beauty of microbes, specifically thermophiles...they can live in environments that other organisms can't stand....:D

lepas amik sampel, aku ingt blehlah balik bilik dulu, rpanya trus msuk lab dsna Bangunan Biologi....bengong....penat gila eh....nasib ja ak still brtenaga skit time tu...:p

sdh abis inoculate sample dlm segala2 plate yg ada, ak pn balik n dalam jam 6 lbh aku turun Panggung Seni utk rehearsal "Usang"...

*nnt next entry, ak critakan ttg teater "Usang" tu, ok~*

shisha = shit-sha?

2010-02-03T05:14:00.004+08:00

hmm...dlu aku xtau pun kewujudan shisha nie tau...well, kmurg mau tau mcmmna bntuk dia? nah...

nmpak mcm besar plak nie shisha tau...(sumber:Flicker pix)

well, td lepas latihan teater, mcm biasa kluar mkan di Fariz...mula2 mkan ramai2lah...let me senaraikan satu2....ada Miza, Tojo, Noralina, Ina Junior, Widda, Iqbal, Kak Ain, aku, Azirin, Ika, Zuliati, Abg Bad, Naim, Jekodonat (aka Jek), Abg Pisang, Abg Giant (geng Abg Pisang) and Abg Sham.

lpas tu sedikit demi sdikit smua lari pulang...smpailah tinggal aku, Abg Pisang, Azirin, Ika dan Jek. naa...sblum diorg tu lari, Abg Pisang mmg sdh isap tu shisha...lpas dah tinggal 5 org kami...nda lama lpas tu ABg Pisang pesan satu lagi botol shisha....wahhh~~~

well, aku time tu mau try2 jak...sedut xda teknik...main sedut jak asap2 tu....adehhh...asap sikit gila eh....lpas sdh mneliti mcmmna si Jek dan Abg Pisang dpt mnikmati asap yg brkepul2 bnyak tu, aku pun dgn seriusnya mau try teknik diorg kpd diri sndri...

nahhh...hambik ko asap bnyak!!!

wahh...mmg suka lh time tu asap bnyak2 kluar nie....lpas sdh msuk botol ke-2...lagilah gila...tp sbnrnya msa botol 1st tu lagi aku sdh mngalami perasaan "high" yg menggila...

bila sdh saat kepalaku mcm jem skjp...aku mcm sdh kehilangan diri sndri...aku sprti di awang2an...gila eh mcm isap dadah plak...nasib ja shisha...

dan aku xsemena2 gelak2 sndri...hahaha...~siap 3 round aku high...gila!!!

ktawa2 sndri and siap ktawakan apa jak yg kwn2 didepanku ckp...biarpun ak tau nda lucu, tp aku ktawa jak nie...adehhh.....sperti hilang kawalan...OMG...adehhh...

well, rsanya that'll be the end...ak bila sdh tau bnda tu akan mmbuatkn aku xingat sekeliling, hooo...itu tandanya ak kna jauhkan diri dri bnda tuh....not good for ur health...hehehe...

that was my 1st xperience high by just inhaling shisha smoke....*jgnlah diorg taruk drug dlm ya...*

daa...~~

Jalan Pulang

2010-02-02T17:32:00.003+08:00

Suara hati mendamba jiwa,

Kaku sebentar,

Aku tergamam, terkumam, kelam,

Saat Api menyambar.

Dasar,

Di tepi pemikiran alpa.

Dalam,

Tetap Suram.

Kau dan dia,

Jadi penulis nista,

Oh nafsumu berkecamuk,

Bak sembilu menusuk!

Gagah sang Arjuna,

Terus menerus mengalir di darahmu,

menelusuri kebangkitan,

Tetap,

tetap disana,

Menjulang durjana.

Bukankah kita sama,

mencintai dunia...

Sebenarnya kita lupa,

Memeluk cahaya...

Marilah wahai jalan,

pimpiniku pulang...

Hailey Goitom, UKM, 29. I . MMX, 4.57 pm.

sedey...

2010-01-29T14:37:00.003+08:00

tadi, father call aku...dia ckp xdpt dtg for actvty CSSUKM tonite...huhuhu...

well, mebi da blame is for me oso, koz ak xurus bnda nie awal2....well, ke-busy-an mmbuatkan aku sudah jadi xmenang tangan mau urus yg mna satu nie...adehhh.....

seribu kemaafan buat EXCO CSSUKM sbb xdpt buat krja sy dgn baik...:(

*mood down teramat sgt....*

nasib ja aku sdh buat plan B...tp dunno if that can compensate with my kesalahan nie...:(

sob...sob...sob...:"-(

Tesis!

2010-01-25T14:22:00.002+08:00

tadi, aku sudah tau deadline mau hantar tesis (siap berjilid) to my Jabatan.....2 haribulan April nie....adehh!!!!

so, my strategy...

i) Minggu sebelum Tahun Baru Cina bulan Februari, aku siap dgn 1st draft (bab 1-3)

ii) Minggu pertama Mac, siap dgn 2nd draft (bab 4-5, dan lain2)

iii) Minggu ke-2 Mac, siap semua (bab 1-5, and lain2)

iv) Minggu ke-3 Mac, hantar final draft kepada supervisor

v) Some time pd hujung minggu ke-3 or awal minggu ke-4 Mac, hantar tesis utk dijilid....(tp mintak2lah bleh hantar awal sikit)

so....Hailey, ko kena kerja keras bulan januari smpai Mac nie!!!

Good Luck to me!

Legion: Cerita Mengarut ttg Kasih Tuhan yang Maha Luas atau Suatu Cermin Sifat Manusia?

2010-01-24T04:06:00.009+08:00

hmm...aku better start post nie dgn meletakkannya kpd 3 bhgian...

Bahagian I: External...

well....kita semua (xkisah apa agama pun), diajar bhwa Tuhan itu Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang, Maha Sabar, Maha Pengampun, Maha Kudus....

tadi, aku, Jekodonat, Azirin, Abg Sham, Saido, Ika, Echa dan Pidot telah sepakat *membawa berkat* utk menonton cerita movie terbaru Hollywood nie, "Legion"...

rsanya aku sndri pun xtau lngsung ttg kwujudan crita trbaru nie di wayang...and aku xmletakkan sgt apa2 harapan bhwa cerita nie akn best...*since time mau mnonton n time menonton tu, perut aku memulas jak...potong mood aku jak mau mnonton...:p*

and popcorn, air gas sdah dbeli....mnonton dah start...and dah mula lah...

Ke-Mengarut-an dan Ke-Pesong-an dan Segala-gala yang Kamu Boleh Fikirkan...

Dlm movie nie, dikatakan, Tuhan sudah hilang sabar trhadap sikap manusia yang sering mmbuat dosa serta kejahatan....

1st logic point: Okay, mmg benar, manusia semakin xpatuh pd perintah Tuhan. Manusia semakin xsetia pd janjinya utk mengabdi kepadaNya dan mengikut segala perintahNya...thus manusia sering berdosa...

lepas tu, Tuhan mengutus Malaikat Michael utk membunuh semua manusia, terutamanya seorang manusia, perempuan, yang mengandungkan seorang anak lelaki....well, prempuan tu xdbagitau plak mcmmna dia trmengandungkan anak tuh...

Then, this angel xmau patuh pd perintah nie...in other words, dia ingkar perintah Tuhan....

2nd logic point: Since when malaikat Tuhan sudah jadi disobedient? kinda contradict with sifat malaikat yang sentiasa setia pada perintah Tuhan...

Angel Michael tu pn turun dri syurga, jd "orang"...(biarpn, personally bg sy, sy percya malaikat tu xda bentuk n xda sayap...dia kn makhluk yg lebih tinggi darjatnya dri manusia...), then sanggup mmbuang sayap dan kemuliaannya sbg seorg Malaikat utk mencari dan melindungi prempuan yg mngandung anak tu...

Next, adalah prtempuran antara orang2 yang "dirasuk" malaikat tu dgn si Malaikat n org2 yg tinggal dgn tu prempuan mngandung....so, misi diorg adalh utk mlindungi tu prempuan smpai dia mlahirkan anak...

Lepas tu tetiba muncullah seorg lagi angel, Malaikat Gabriel, yg, mnurut crita nie, adalah malaikat yg patuh pd Tuhan. so, dgn penuh aksi dan style *hollywoodlah katakan....-_-*...si Angel Gabriel n Michael nie pn brlawan2....

3rd logic point: Huh??? malaikat sama malaikat bergaduh? what the hell?? bukankah mereka itu xjauh sifatnya dri manusia sndri klu diorg bleh sering brgaduh sesama sndri demi mematuhi perintah Tuhan....?

akhirnya, si prempuan tu pun mlahirkan anak llaki and llaki yg mnjaga tu prempuan smasa dia mngandung pn mnyelamatkan anak tu...and last part of the story, anak tu dibawa ke satu tmpat mna ntah....hehe...

4th logic point: overall, cerita nie mnggambarkan yg Tuhan itu sifatnya juga mcm manusia, bleh hilang sabar trhadap ciptaan terindahNya...well, aku bukan mau brlagak ahli agama lh...tp siapalah kita mahu mengukur kesabaran Tuhan itu...bukankah Dia itu Maha Sabar...ya, manusia mmg kdg2 *n sringkali* kurg sabar, namun, Tuhan itu tetap sabar trhdp kita and sntiasa mmbawa kita ke arah yg baik mlalui hamba2Nya yg baik2....

Dan akhirnya, most of my Muslim friends rate this story as "syirik"...n bagi aku..."mengarut"...

Bahagian II: Another Perspective

okay, balik ke fikiran alternatif...

bila kita fikirkan secara luaran, mmg nmpak mcm mngarutlah....Tapi bila kita fikirkan apa2 bnda tu out-of-the-box, kita akan nmpak apa yg sbnrnya diceritakan....

as for me, cerita Legion nie, fokus dia bukan sbnrnya pd Angel tu, bukan jgk pd bayi yg dlahirkan prempuan tu DAN bukan jgk kpd sifat Tuhan...

tapi, cerita ini menggambarkan sifat manusia di zaman skg...

i) manusia zaman skg suka merungut dan komplen...manusia xkan prnah puas dgn apa pun...manusia sering menjadikan ksempurnaan bg mreka adalah sgt penting...namun, apa yg mreka xsedari adalah, manusia xkan prnah sempurna....

ya, aku prcaya, walau sejauh mana manusia itu mahu mnjd sempurna seperti Tuhan, namun ia xkan dpt dsamakan dgn Kesempurnaan Tuhan...itulah sebabnya, semakin kperluan kita dipenuhi, semakin kita xpuas...krna manusia, pd hakikatnya, TAK PERNAH PUAS!

ii) manusia suka mengabaikan orang disekeliling dia...kita sering mnyalahkan orang lain bila kita mrasakan kita xmndapat kasih syg, perhatian or xdipedulikan...so, kita akan cnderung mnyalahkan org lain...n bila sdh xda sapa2 yg mau dsalahkan, akhirnya, imannya akan mnjd mangsa...

kita manusia akan mnyalahkan Tuhan...ayat2 nie sering muncul dlm mulut kita bila musibah mlanda..."Tuhan, mngapa berat skali dugaan ini?"..."Tuhan, mngapa aku, bukan orang lain?"..."Tuhan, aku sdh brbuat baik spnjng hidupku" etc. etc....lihat, betapa xsempurnanya iman kita...bagi sy *personally*, iman seseorg tu (xkisah apa agama pun), akan mnjd kuat n sempurna bila dugaan melanda...itu sbg ujian dri Tuhan, berapa sanggup kita mau mncintai Tuhan dlm msa susah n senang...

Konklusi:

apa2 pn, klu2 kmurg xda iman yg kuat utk tgk crita nie, jgn tgk ye....sbb dikhuatiri akan mnggoncangkan iman...hehehe....tp klu mau tgk pn, tgk jaklah, but see it as an independent personlah...yg hnya mngambil nilai2 tersirat yg adal dlm muvie nie...:D

P/S: Ini hanya pandangan peribadi...xpayahlah kamurang mau argue2 sma aku sbb stiap org ada pndangan yg trsndri...klu mau balas komenku hanya smata2 mau argue, better jgn...aku awal2 delete komen kmurang...sekian....terima kasih...

definisi hensom...

2010-01-23T09:17:00.012+08:00

ya...

bagi kamu...apa definisi handsome?

adakah handsome itu macam muka pelakon ini?

Diether Ocampo...handsome juga...hehe....*sounds gay, isn't it? yucks...*

tapi ada juga yang cakap handsome itu macam ini...

Jericho Rosales....I like lakonan dia....hehe...Pangako sa yo...lalala...~~~

hahaha...pendapat orang lain, so, taste pun lain....

kadang-kadang itu ada juga yang suka melihat pada extreme make-over macam orang ini...

before...

after....

yang ini pun boleh tahan juga handsome...*konon....*

macho huh? siapa mahu lawan...*ya ampun...macam gay saja aku ini...*

hahaha....well, saja mahu letak post-post begini...bukan sebab aku menjadi "bertanduk-tanduk" bila tengok dia orang ini, tapi just mahu membuat orang berfikir tentang apa definisi handsome bagi dia orang....:D

daa...~~

enjoy...

2010-01-16T22:54:00.004+08:00

JPA dah masuk!!!

hehehe...so, berjoli2 lah...hehehe...

sepatutnya hari nie ada latihan teater jam 2 ptg, tp dsbbkan ak kemaruk sgt mau kluar nie....aku memontengkan diri...just utk hari nie jer...

pagi td, aku masuk lab jgk, sbb kna tgk result experiment yg ak buat smlm....adehh....nasib jak ada kputusan yg mmberangsangkan, so aku bleh proceed proses sterusnya....PCR koloni...heheh...*kmurg xpaham lantak korglah....:p*

lpas sdh simpan PCR reaction tu (utk dbuat gel run Isnin nnt), aku kol si Azirin, ajak dia kluar...(si Azir plak dia xdpt kluar sbb ada aktvt fakulti...)...lpas naik bas 6z, kami naik tren pi Serdang, dmana kami brdua pgi The Mines....muahahahhaa....

well, you guys can expect what we were doing there...hehehe....shopping like hell-lah!

xbnyk pn bnda yg ak beli...*biarpn bg azirin yg hanya beli seluar &^%$# tu ckp aku bnyk beli hari nie...*...hahaha~

antara bnda2 trsebut ialah...

seterika....*jenama n model betul sprti yg dlm gmbar...hehe*

seluar slack hitam *aku makin kekurangan seluar slack nie....td pn ak beli jeans hitam jgk, tp dsbbkan ndada barcode, xdpt belilh...bengong pnya Giant...nama jak Giant, tp otak mcm ostrich*

perhatian: seluar diatas lbh kurg mcm sluar aku jgk...:p

well, ak kan amik Bhsa Arab smster nie...mmg amat susah bljr nie bhsa klu xda kamus, so aku belilah satu utk ksenanganku nnt...:p

*yg aku beli tu bukan dri Penerbit ***** *****..., so gmbr nir just hiasan jer...:p*

webcam!!! huaahaahaha....lma sdh mau beli nie barang tau...sejak yg aku ada tu dlu xdpt dpakai, mau webcam sma kwn2 pn susah....so dgn adanya yg bru nie, blehlah aku bergila2...:p

*yg gmbr diatas tu bkan jenama yg aku beli disana Mines...tp kbetulan plak webcam diatas nie sma mcm webcamku yg dlu...hehe*

yup...earphone...nielah yg aku slalu jadikan kwn kpd henponku saat aku bosan...

jeng3!!! headphone....~ biarpn dia besar gedabak *gmbr diatas lbh kurg mcm yg aku beli tu...*, tp lantaklah, ak pkai dlm blik jgk...bkan mau dbawa2....berat eh!

itulah pengakhiran duit2 JPA ku...hehehe....nda bh, ada lagi....ak jimat2 jgk, mau simpan utk buat tesisku nnt bulan 3...then ak mau settle-kan hutang2 yg mngkin xtrlangsai lagi....and.......byr apa2 yg patut...

tired oh!

2010-01-14T15:08:00.002+08:00

mulai januari nie, aku akan busy...dgn apa?

i) latihan teater KTR...pementasan bulan 2, 6hb nnt...aku xblakon, ak just dlm produksi, main lampu2...:p

ii) latihan tarian utk MKK nite PERKEB, bulan 3, 6hb klu aku xsilap...hehe....yeah! tarian really makes me kurus! hahaha~

iii) lab utk last part of my experiment...A-tailing, ligation, transformation, colony PCR, extraction of plasmid, gel run, and lastly, preparation for sample to be sent for sequencing...

iv) CSSUKM fellowships...

fuh~~~

utk mngelak lebih bnyk kontroversi...

2010-01-11T16:55:00.005+08:00

My beloved Archbishop Murphy Pakiam,

I, as a Christian, ask you to drop the plead to use "Allah" in Herald's Malay version publications...things had become worse...let us keep this country peaceful ...let the Muslim get what they want...we will still be grateful to use the word Tuhan in our publications...

as what I can see, the issue had been too much sensationalised by both parties (some Christians n Muslims alike) that some of them also think that Muslim wants Christians not to use that name in our worship as well (4 sure that's not the case, right?) and Christians are arguing with those Muslim in a way that doesn't reflect the true love of Christ...

do not mix this worldly sensation with the true Teaching of our Church... I myself is a Sabahan, a people who prays in Malay...but I dun really mind if I can't see the word Allah in any Malay religious books...I still can say that name in my individual prayers...Tuhan is sufficient enough, or maybe this capitalisation will make the Lord and God translation more clearer...TUHAN = ALLAH, God and Tuhan = Lord

Hope this solution restore the peace in our country...please, my beloved Archbishop, drop the case...for the sake of Unity and Harmony...

with heart full of hope,

Hailey Goitom.

Setitip Doa Buat Malaysia

2010-01-09T02:06:00.003+08:00

sengaja aku buat doa nie dalam bahasa Malaysia, sebab untuk membuktikan bahawa orang Kristian di Sabah dan Sarawak sememangnya sudah biasa dengan bahasa kebangsaan yang sekaligus menjadi kebanggaan dalam ibadat mereka...

V: Pertolongan kita dalam nama Tuhan

R: yang mencipta langit dan bumi.

V: Tuhan besertamu.

R: dan beserta rohmu.

V: Marilah berdoa.

Ya TUHAN pencipta langit dan bumi, Engkau menciptakan segala sesuatu dengan sesempurna yang Kau mahukan. Engkau mencipta langit dan bumi penuh kaya demi kami semua, maka pantaslah kami bersyukur padaMu atas segala nikmat dan rahmat ini.

Engkau Tuhan tidak melihat warna kulit atau kepercayaan kami saat Kau mahu menurunkan rezeki pada setiap insan di dunia ini. Engkau Tuhan sentiasa menerbitkan siang dan malam buat kami, menurunkan hujan untuk bumi kami, memberi roti bagi keluarga kami, biarpun ada antara kami yang bukan dari golongan yang percaya akan keesaanMu. Maka selayaknya Engkau TUHAN yang Maha Adil lagi Maha Pengasih.

Ya TUHAN sumber segala cinta kasih, hanya dariMu terbit segala sumber kedamaian. Maka kami mohon saat ini, berkatilah bumi ini, tanah tempat tumpah darah kami, tempat kami menapakkan kaki ini, yakni Malaysia, agar ia senantiasa bebas dari segala sumber yang jahat.

Jauhkanlah kami dari malapetaka, hindarkanlah kami dari segala perpecahan, dekatkanlah kami pada kemakmuran dan kedamaian sejati. Kami berdoa dan memohon padaMu, Tuhan, agar hati semua orang yang percaya akan Kitab-KitabMu akan diterangi pemahaman bahawa kedamaian sejati hanya dapat dicapai jika mereka meletakkan kepentingan diri ke tepi dan menjadi Pahlawan Damai yang memberi keutamaan pada keamanan dan kesejahteraan.

Biarlah terangmu mendahului para pemimpin negara kami, agar mereka kembali ke Rumah SejatiMu, yakni keindahan AjaranMu menurut iman kami masing-masing. Kami berdoa, agar titipan kecil ini menjadi haruman mewangi mencicipi hadapan Takhta MuliaMu di syurga. Maka TUHAN, dengarkanlah doa kami ini.

Per Dominum Nostrum Iesum Christum Filium Tuum, qui Tecum vivit et regnat in unitate Spiritus Sancti, Deus, per omnia saecula saeculorum.

Amin.

another "different perspective"....

2010-01-08T12:24:00.003+08:00

pssstt...

rasanya link nie bleh membuka mata "alternative perspective" kamu semua, especially yang Kristian...(klik perkataan "link nie" tu...)

saya sendiri tidak menyebelahi mana-mana pihak atau mahu mem-protes sesiapa, tapi apa yang penting, agama kita tetap bertahan dalam hati dan kita tetap percaya akan cinta kasih Tuhan...

so, sekali lagi saya ulangi, adakah dgn tak menggunakan Nama Suci Tuhan itu kita semua, orang2 Katolik dan Kristian, amnya, akan kehilangan Tuhan? sama sekali tidak! Jangan cuba balas kenyataan saya nie dgn "kebebasan bersuara", "Hak Rakyat dlm perlembagaan" or some other craps.....weyh, aku pn tau jgk bah tu barang...tp apalah gunanya kalau pun Nama Suci tu kita sering pakai dalam penerbitan kita (klu ibadat tu mmglah konfirm masih boleh, sbb Mahkamah just halang penggunaan Nama Suci Tuhan dalam buku2, bukan ibadat2...but I really hope Kerajaan jgn tahan Bible2 Bahasa Malaysia or Bahasa Indonesia, sbb ramai orang di Sabah Sarawak tu xpaham Bahasa Inggeris...)...tapi kita sbg orang2 Kristian masih ditakuk lama? masih hidup seperti saudara2 kita yg lain di Barat sana, menghakimi orang, hidup bebas tanpa batas, pre-marital sex, cinta terlarang, and segala mcm kehinaan? semua "hak2" yg kmu semua ckp tu hanya duniawi, hanya saduran licik pihak sekular yg mahu men-sekular-kan agama...

Sorry, nampak sgt aku nie mcm bias, kn? tp sbnrnya persoalan tu pun boleh ditujukan kpd sapa2 pun dari apa2 agama...Apalah ertinya kita memperjuangkan sesuatu isu yang nampaknya boleh diselesaikan dgn cara aman dan tertutup, tp pada masa yg sama, melupakan perkara lain yg secara jelas perlu ditangani?

See the whole thing in a different perspective...I myself xtrasa trganggu dgn semua nie...sbb di Sabah Sarawak xda hal2 mcm nie...hanya segelintir orang di Semenanjung ja yg trlalu men-sensasikan dan mem-politikkan hal nie...

In the end, siapa yang rugi? semua orang rugi...orang Muslim rugi sbb diorg riot sana-sini and mmberi imej xbaik ttg Islam yg secara terang2an mengajarkan umatnya supaya menghormati agama lain...yg Kristian pn rugi jgk sbb diorg lepas nie akan menjadi agamawan yang sekular, yang mencampur-adukkan kesucian agama dgn hak-hak asasi yang adalah propaganda Barat...

Kembalilah kepada ajaran sejati agama kita semua...Love unconditionally...as God has loved us and gives "rezeki" to all of us without looking at our religions....for He is All-Just, Maha Adil....Amin.

A personal opinion in a different perspective...what if...?

2010-01-07T17:31:00.004+08:00

Malaysia now have their new hot issue...the usage of God's Holy name, "Allah"...

As far as I concerned, the High Court had postponed the implementation of their previous December 31st decision, that was to allow "Herald" to use "Allah" in their Malay version of that Catholic newspaper...

This is kinda predicted, since our Court does not want to make some Malays got riot, who, in my opinion, does not really understand the history of the usage of the Divine Name as well as their Holy Koran...sorry, no offense, but even some educated ustaz and Mursyidul Am PAS says there's no wrong for non-Muslim using that name to refer to GOD and plus, giving some Quranic references about that. If you guys don't believe me, perhaps Dr Asri will make you believe what I say...(click his name to go to the link)

I don't get mad if the Court wants to put a ban on non-Muslim from using the name "Allah" in their Malay version of their publication...and these are my opinions about this "isu remeh yg terlalu dibesar-besarkan padahal ianya boleh diselesaikan melalui perbincangan tertutup yang penuh dgn semangat harmoni dan saling memahami antara satu sama lain" (which I think doesn't go very well in Malaysia)...

i) As Christians, we should be thankful for everything. Yes, the High Court gives the consent for us to use the Divine Name in the publications. Let say, if our archbishop is to go to Supreme Court, for sure we wont win...for Supreme Court will look forward to unity and harmony, and such consent will cause "huru-hara" in West Malaysia (I use the distinction "West" and "East" becoz the way most East Malaysian Muslims think and understand Islam are different from some West Malaysian Muslims.)

ii) IF...the High Court decided to ban the usage of the name Allah in non-Muslim's publications, my fellow Christians (whatever your mazhabs are), do not be discouraged by this action...we do not lost our God even if we can't use the word Allah. "Tuhan" is still relevant. and a capital letter makes a big difference...tuhan (Noun) can bear the meaning of god, deity, "dewa-dewi", whatever the name of the deities are, be it Jupiter, Uranus, Ptah, Vishnu or other polytheistic religions...but Tuhan (proper Noun) can only mean "God, Allah". (see those small as well as capital letters, ya? don't just read it through...)

Well, that explains my title of this blog..."a different perspective".....I do not want to be in the same side with some peoples "yang menyangka diorang tu pejuang agama" (whatever religions-lah, Kristian ka, Islam ka...)...I consider myself as a flexible, yet a thankful Christian, who give thanks to God for everything...but at the same time, hold firm to what I think is true...

and that truth is?

Mempercayai bahawa Allah itu Satu, namun berperibadi Tiga:

Allah Bapa yang mencipta Langit dan Bumi, memelihara Umat Israel dan sebagai tanda KasihNya terhadap Umat Israel yang sering terpesong itu, Dia menghantar Nabi-Nabi untuk mengingatkan mereka...

Allah yang turun ke dunia milikNya, mengambil bentuk seorang manusia yang semua orang Kristian kenali, yakni Yesus Kristus. Dialah Allah yang setia pada KasihNya dan kesetiaanNya itu kekal dan tetap bertahan, biarpun Dia, sebagai manusia, mati di kayu Salib. Namun kematian itu kalah apabila tubuh manusiawiNya itu bangkit dari kubur dan dia naik kembali ke Syurga mulia disaksikan para Pengikut 12-Nya...

Allah yang kekal bersama manusia, sehingga ke akhir masa, yakni dalam rahmat hikmat dan kuasa Roh Kudus yang memimpin para Penguasa Gereja, sehingga ke zaman sekarang (dan, mengikut ajaran Katolik, Roh itulah yang membimbing Bapa Suci Paus dan para pembantunya, yakni para uskup [bishops]...)

Inilah kepercayaan tentang Allah yang saya yakini adalah benar. Tujuan saya menuliskan ini bukan untuk mengajak kamu semua (terutama yang bukan Kristian) untuk jadi Kristian (seperti yang segelintir orang cakap atau fikir)...tapi ini adalah untuk menerangkan kpd anda semua tentang kepercayaan saya dan agama saya...so, jangan argue tentang kepercayaan ini, sebab saya meyakininya, dan saya sangat menghormati kepercayaan agama-agama lain juga, so I expect all of you to do the same.

Back to the story..."in a different perspective"...I also picture myself as a "different" Christian, as I have a good knowledge about other religion, especially Islam (I don't really know much about Judaism, Buddhism or even Hinduism, as I had a limited readings about their beliefs as well as friends who really2 practising those religions, but if u guys have useful infos bout it, share with me, ya?)...

Well, I've been living with Muslim friends and neighbours since my childhood and many input about Islam that I absorbed from them. About fasting, about 5 times a day prayer and so on.

Personally, I think Islam is a cool religion...bukan sejuk ah, mksud saya, Islam to agama yang sgt2 baik dan indah...why?

in my personal perspective as a "different" Christian, Islam teaches her faithful to be obedient to God through His commandments (prayers, fasting, restrain themselves from certain foods and drinks etc. etc.)...and most of all, Islam teaches her followers to love knowledge! and that source of knowledge? the Holy Book of Quran...as the book contains many beautiful verses about Almighty God, so do the hidden knowledge in it...

I myself love to read the "tafsir Al-Quran" (I use the word "Tafsir" (interpretation), not "Terjemahan" (translation), bcoz klu terjemahan, ayat dia sgt2 susah difahami, sbb sgt puitis dan dalam maksudnya)...as it gives a clearer view about God's deeds in the past, the mystery of God's creations and scary depictions about the Akhirat (The Last Day)...even my mom loves to read Islamic books and when I asked her why, she simply said, "sebab cerita-cerita tentang hari Kiamat tu menginsafkan saya"...

Of course my religion has her own Holy Book, the Bible (or in Arabic, later taken by Indonesians as the official translation of it, Alkitab...)...but it's a growing experience knowing Muslim's Holy Book as well...and I love the Islamic version of Our Lady's story (Siti Maryam in Arabic)...so beautiful and depicts the holiness and blameless life of Mary, the Mother of Jesus...

goshh...I've become so religious again...adoi, sorry if I "membebel" lagi...but then, keep your mind open about this matter, accept what your faith had told you is true...whether u r Muslim or Christians, hold firm to what u believe, learn to obey what your faith ask from u and learn the significance of it in your daily life...and do not be afraid to know other's religions as it gives you a broader mind perspectives, gives a good description of your religion to other faiths and in the end, menjalinkan silaturahim antara sesama manusia....

Tuhan Memberkati.

God Bless.

Benedicat Deus.

Rasanya...

2010-01-04T19:13:00.003+08:00

Rasanya kita sudah lupa...

kita lupa akan satunya titik,

menitis dari satu langit,

jatuh ke lantai yang jauh...

rasanya kita sudah lupa...

Langit itu tinggi,

bumi itu rata,

manusia itu tanah,

cuma tanah biasa, hina kau dan aku!

rasanya kita sudah lupa...

Roh Agung itu meninggikan darjat kita,

HembusanNya tanda rahmat,

kita lupa!

rasanya kita sudah lupa...

akan adanya satu manusia,

kalah oleh nafsu dan keinginan daging,

sampai kau dan aku,

menjadi pelungsur sepi di bumi sepi.

rasanya...

RASANYA...

kau dan aku lupa!

dia lupa, mereka lupa, kita semua lupa!

apa mahuNya dari kita,

Kasih sesama, cinta kepada damai...namun...

KITA lupa...

Hailey Goitom, UKM, 4.I.2010 AD, jam 1920.

permata...

2010-01-01T20:29:00.002+08:00

permata terindah...

adalah syurga...

namun memperolehnya,

sesukar meletak bara ke tangan mentah...

bintang timur,

terbit dari azali...

menyingsing jalan lurus...

dan menjambatani zaman,

zaman ke tahun,

tahun ke hari,

hari yang ngeri...

di sini,

permata sudah ada,

bintang sudah ada,

ya,

keduanya membawa bahagia...

tapi apakan daya,

mereka ditambati,

mahu saja ditutupi,

bila cahaya si permata dan bintang itu,

melampaui batas manusiawi.....

Reflection of 2009

2009-12-31T15:04:00.004+08:00

I wish to make this reflection in a poetic way...just simple words, but there are many hidden stories on each words...

I walk into you,

as the door is opened wide,

because you are there,

to give me uncertainties.

Joy,

as I fell in love,

to a Love,

so unworthy, so unwilling...

I kept myself away from ignorance,

in order to understand the meaning of beauty,

in a long lasting tradition.

Fade,

as the word would be,

never keeps me away from happiness,

as I enjoyed the greenness of nature,

of soul so far...

I never felt so tired before,

not even before my first word comes into my utterance...

because determination, willingness and my creed,

is keeping me on track.

Mess,

holds me so tight,

I couldn't figure out my way,

as the dust is put on my forehead,

I keep myself low and...

even then,

it seemed like I couldn't create heaven,

as people want me to,

oh, how solemn it is,

when I observe my memory,

to the sound of laughter and smile.

Aurora,

beams through my dark heart,

yes, they come and go,

to pursue their kiss of peace,

as the papers are laid down in front of them.

That will be,

the hope of life,

for the new walk,

the final walk of wisdom.

Magenta,

keeps in her shadow.

I was a boy of joy,

and now a cold war fights my fire,

fire of shame and stupidity.

Jammed,

I just can't understand,

hot and fiery,

madness and boredom,

mixed in a food called life.

Justified,

yes!

I received my holy order,

to be a thinker,

a doer,

an observer,

a keeper...

Arguments,

had always been my cause of existence,

be it up or down,

right or left,

small or great,

visible or blank...

Shame,

as I approach my end of joy,

to be into another door,

of responsibilities.

as I come to the land of joy,

taking together the weirdness of holiness,

but I keep it in my heart,

as my Mother used to do so.

Open,

and close,

I used to be it...

now I'm ready to do it,

yes, to be an observer.

Nothing,

could let me away from them,

as they gives me smile, pain, wind, and fall...

Docked,

as I arrived at the destination,

but I have to leave behind my boat,

as it will wade its own way,

to the sea of far far away...

the uncertainties that I see,

is there again.

I will go through another door again,

and this time, it'll be surprising...

oh how I would be so happy to go through you...

31th December 2009

2009-12-31T03:50:00.001+08:00

the end of the decade....

well....

pada jam 1600 nnt ak akan masukkan my reflections ttg apa yg aku rsa spnjng tahun nie...

Christmas in Sandakan...

2009-12-24T14:47:00.002+08:00

ala, tahun nie aku xbalik Sandakan utk Krismas bah plak, kan? huhuhu...

tp aku kena tabah jgk....xpa2, nnt tahun depan dpt jgk tu sambut sma2 family lagi, kan? hehe....sabar ja ko Hailey, mau grads sudah nie, do some sacrifices....hehe...

masa aku tgh fikir idea mau letak apa lagi dlm blog nie, aku teringat plak aku ada rakam video time Holy Mass di Katedral St Mary Sandakan masa aku sambut disana tahun lepas...so, just wanna share with u my friends ttg sebahagian yg brlaku time upacara sembahyang org Katolik nie...

this video was taken dari tempat duduk atas...nie masa Christmas Eve Midnight Mass...klu dulu di Sandakan, the priest will have the celebration near midnite...around 11pm...but nowadays, the bishop oredi tukarkan waktu lebih awal skit, around 9pm....

sapa2 diantara kamu, my kwn2 Melayu yg xprnah dgr lagu Krismas dlm bahasa Melayu, naa...inilah masanya...well, since di Sabah n Sarawak kebanyakan bumiputeranya brtutur dlm bhsa Melayu, so upacara sembahyang pun dlm bhsa Melayu lh....

really miss those moments...sob3...

random no. 2....

2009-12-23T16:15:00.005+08:00

randomness comes to my mind...so....nah!!! ambik ko...

my kakak kedua...Suelly....sama ka muka kami? *2008*

my kucing....si Bubu a.k.a. si Babu...*2008*

pengawal2 Securicor...dlu my daddy kerja dsni....*1996*

my dad n his friend masa muda2....hehe...hensom tak?*70s*

daddy n kwn...*70s*

aku n sepupu2 di Kg Pukak...*1994*

aku di Kg Pukak...kiut tak? :p *1994*

simple life di kebun...xda gas, xda air...just kayu api n air dri sungai jak...*2008*

perjalanan ke kebun sawit daddy di Telupid...*2008*

aku (kanan) n adikku Selvister (kiri) masa kecik2 di Tanah Merah, Sandakan...abaikan 2 budak kecik di sebelah kanan tu...anak jiran sebelah...nyibuk jak....padahal diorg mnengok2 sbb adikku pegang bola diorg...wakwakwak...*1998 or 1999 klu xsilap*

kakak aku di Temple Puu Chi, Sandakan...*2008*

aku berpelikat....*2004*

cewek2 yg bru terima first communion+confirmation...:D

dua post dalam satu hari....rajin giler...

2009-12-22T23:48:00.002+08:00

lupa plak...

21 hb lepas, sudah start semester baru...my final semester nie...

so, aku pun sudah tau apa expectations aku utk nie sem....

a) Finish the lab for my thesis

b) Study like crazy and read the journals so that I can complete my Thesis' Chapter 2 around 3 weeks time...

c) Enjoy the last opportunity to berlakon dalam teater and join diorg pgi lawatan ke luar negara...

d) Visit as many churches in KL as possible

e) Crazy-ing more and more with my CSSUKM friends...

f) Buy any desired things before it' s too late...*this is my final semester dapat duit dri JPA...heheh!*

wish me all the best!!!

random...

2009-12-22T12:00:00.008+08:00

quite boring if I just put religious entries, right? coz I myself isn't that religious...(shit...matilah aku kna tembak lpas nie...)

so, just a bit of random pics that I got in my lptop....(actually I brought some of my old family pics here to ukm, and I scan all of them since I afraid of the pics being destroyed by those cruel humidity...*huh?*....watever...)

so, then, enjoy!!!

my cat n doggie, si Papi....*tahun 1998* si Papi sudah "pergi selama-lamanya" masa tahun nie, bulan 8 ka 9 kalau aku nda silap...huhuhu....*

anak pertama Thomas Goitom n Rosalina Gindi....Alexander....*namanya dulu mula2 Alex Wong...dunno napa mama' n bapakku bg nama cina sma dia...*...1979...

my mom masa dia muda2 dlu....*1970-s*

another pose dri my young mom...:D...1970-s

zaman sekolah 70-an di kampung....*nie kelas kwn mama'ku....so, mmg dia xda dlm nie pic...ehhe...*

kwn2 teater yg aku syg....hehe.....*Azirin, Hailey, Noralina*....2007

abangku, tgh mau mngambil kelapa....terrer ohh!!*2008*

nur maghrib....heheh...*2008*

aku ber-pose....time hujan2 dgn sweater n tuala pink...-_-...*2008*

ntah sapa ntah...koleksi gmbar2 kwn my mom....*1970s*

suasana "mongomot parai" *menuai padi in Dusun* di Telupid, tahun 2004

my mom mongomot...*tahun 2004*

padi sudah dituai, lpas tu dikeringkan...*tahun 2004*

my two bros...Alexander and Chia *abg kedua ku plak nie mmg sah2 ada nama cina...hehe.....*....tahun 2007

my mom lepas menang acara sukan...dia dlu mmg olahragawati...hehe.....*tahun 1980-an*

suasana di ladang sawit bapakku...*tahun 2007*

another suasana kampung...*2004*

my two brother masa diorg kecil.....*early 1980s*

all the boys of Thomas Goitom family di Temple Puu Chi, Sandakan....yg bestnya ttg tmpat nie, dia di atas bukit bah, and dia mengadap laut...mmg view dia cantik giler lah...*2007*

Suasana makan malam sama2 time Malam Krismas...*tahun 2005*

my datuk n nenek tiri...diorg nie masuk Islam masa tahun berapa ntah, tp diorg kira bru masuk jgklah...*2000-an*

lastly...me and para student penerima komuni pertama+confirmation....*1999*

that's all bout it...nnt ada lagi kot...daa...~~~

For Catholics Only: 3rd Sunday of Advent, the "Gaudete Sunday"

2009-12-12T15:23:00.007+08:00

I think all my Catholic friends know how I love the Tradition of the Church so much....the Latin language, Gregorian Chant, the communion by tongue (though at this moment I do not receive Corpus Christi by tongue, since our Archbishop still ask us to be alert of H1N1...) and so on...

anyway, this week will be the 3rd Week of Advent, or traditionally known as Gaudete Sunday.
The word "Gaudete" (pronounce the letter "e" as you would pronounce the letter "e" in the Malay word 'Merah' or English word 'Red') is a Latin word, means "Rejoice".

The liturgical colour of this celebration usually is rose pink, though if it's not available, the purple may be used.

Why "Rejoice"? well, obviously it means the Saviour is at hand. It has been three weeks since the commencing of Advent and we are getting nearer to the celebration of Christmas, the birth of Our Dear Saviour Jesus Christ.

So, it is indeed worthy enough for us to rejoice and be glad because Our Lord is at hand...

Just want to share something with all of you...In the Latin Rite of Catholic Church, traditionally during the Entrance Procession of The Altar Servers and the Celebrant to the Altar, the choir will sing the Entrance Antiphon and an excerpt from Psalm, or in Latin, The Introitus.

(The Introitus is never abolished even after the Vatican II Council, but since many churches lack of capable traditional Gregorian cantor, they tend to use modern hymns and gradually the Latin Introitus is somehow...not abandoned, but becomes unknown amongst many choir members of the church and sadly, the youth...)

So, my new Catholic generations, I wanna introduce you, this beautiful Introitus of 3rd Sunday of Advent, "Gaudete", hence the name of this Sunday.

The Introitus of the 3rd Sunday of Advent

click here to hear the Chant

Translation of the Chant: Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say, rejoice; let your forbearance be known to all, for the Lord is near at hand; have no anxiety about anything, but in all things, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God.

enjoy the Chant.
:D

This is my December...

2009-12-03T17:20:00.003+08:00

mcm nama lagu dri Linkin Park, kn?

well, sdah masuk disember nie, ak pn xtau apa plan yg aku mau buat nie...slain buat lab jak...iyalah, kalau mau jalan2 pun, aku tgh "kering" nie...kna jimat-cermat skit...xmaulah ksi susah my parents sgt, so makan pn kna jimat jgk...

lab lab....itu sajalah my main activity masa bulan nie, slain duduk bilik, online...kalau hari sabtu plak, duduk bilik n ptgnya pgi Sunset Mass di HFK....hari minggu plak, sama jgk, n klu rajin, pgi BM Mass jam 1 di HFK jgk...

huhu...2 minggu berlalu, itulah rutin aku.....wuarghh~ bilalh smua kwn2 ku nie mau balik UKM nie? boringlah....

mood ak skg nie...ialah...

berwarna warni namun blank...

dead bored....

2009-11-28T13:56:00.002+08:00

aku bored giler skg nie....weyh!!

sape nak tolong aku mnghilangkan keboringan nie ha???

odoi3....buring o sa skg nie....mcmmna nih!!???

slain dri lab, sa teda apa mau buat dsni ukm.....hmm...patutkah sa menjual2 diluar sana? hmm....

Rekoleksi Perjalanan Eksperimen

2009-11-26T23:49:00.004+08:00

Tidak ? Mungkin ? Sendiri...

Mungkin,
aku menulis,
Mengarang kata sedih,
tetapi apa kata mereka,
kalau aku meneruskan,
bila kataku,
Tidak?

Masa,
Ialah Emas,
bersinar di alam,
tetapi apa kata mereka,
kalau aku mahu,
menyarung janji,
Mungkin?

Tulisan,
Adalah tinta,
persis mutiara asli,
tetapi apa kata mereka,
jika mentari senja,
pulang pergi,
Sendiri...

Hailey Goitom, UKM, 1141am, 26. XI. 2009 AD

For Catholics Only: Traditional vs Revised

2009-11-20T02:51:00.006+08:00

In the Catholic Church, these two words are always fighting among each other...I also dunno why these two elements can't exist together....

as for me, the traditionalism leads me to know my past, my history and dignity to be proud of. The present do give me some simplicity, but with caution that it won't kill the long lasting tradition...

Okay, perhaps you guys are quite blurred with what am I trying to say, right? hmm....pictures can tell thousands of words...

as you guys can see here from this Traditional Nuptial Mass, the priest faces the Cross, or more accurately, in the "Leading Position", where this position symbolises the priest leading the People of God to worship Him. Some liberal Catholics had erroneously called this position as "backing the people" (membelakangi umat) and thus, people cannot see what the priest is doing...

I hate it when some peoples, liturgiologists or even priests said that this kind of mass discourage peoples from actively participating in it. What I'm trying to say is that,

"so if this Mass really discourage the People of God from actively participating in the Sacrifice of Christ, why would Pope St Pius V promulgated this Mass 500 years ago?"

There are many ways of the People of God to actively participate in this kind of Mass, such as the responses, singing the Ordinaries together, have a reading on the translation of the reading (becoz the reading is traditionally read in Latin for sure...but since 1962, Pope John XXIII allowed the readings to be done in any local language, so it won't be a problem to understand the readings)...

this is the Mass of Paul VI, the pope who continued the Second Vatican Council after John XXIII and eventually promulgated this Mass to be celebrated in the whole Catholic Church of Latin Rite in 1969. The position is somehow changed, from the "Leading Position" to the "People-Oriented Position". Well, as far as what I have read from the Documents of Second Vatican Council, it never says that the Mass MUST be celebrated with the priest facing the peoples. So, my opinion is that either one of the positions can be applied.

In fact, the Sacramentary of the Latin Mass promulgated by Pope Paul VI in 1969 ask the priest to face people 5 times...hmm....how can they have this kind of instruction when they have already facing the people? Thus, celebrating Paul VI Mass with "Leading Position" is still relevant (and in my opinion, should be encouraged).

Of course, the prayers are changed a bit, with new prayers being introduced and reduction of many prayers, and the MOST important thing, the public and aloud recitation of the Eucharistic Prayer (traditionally known as "Roman Canon"). For your information, in traditional Latin Mass, this part is never said aloud, thus, after the "Holy, Holy, Holy", the church becomes so quiet and silent, without any sound, except the bell rung by the altar servers (which serves as the signal for the faithful for adoration).

well, as a man who had been brought up Post-Vatican II, I really love the content of the Eucharistic Prayer. I myself keeping my thought quiet to listen to each of the words in the Eucharistic Prayer, thus serve as my prayer to God during the consecration. And another important thing is that, it is in the language that I understand, my local and national language, so it has never a problem for me to understand the Mass.

do you get what I'm trying to say now? still cannot? well....simply to say...

It is important for us to know the meaning of each part of the Mass and its significance to us in our daily life. For me, I would favour the Traditional Latin Mass, because, personally, I love the soothing music of Gregorian Chant, the silence during the Consecration, the language (Latin), as well as many other gestures such as kneeling while receiving the Corpus Christi by tongue etc.

But as a person who live in the era of Vatican-II, I also found something very meaningful from the Vatican-II Mass. As the priest recites the Eucharistic Prayer, I ponder each word in it, making them into my prayers to God.

But anyhow, I still miss the sign of humility among girls (ie wearing veils when entering the church), and for sure it can be encouraged among today's Catholic girls. I already promoting it to my mom and she seems to be interested to wear it constantly in the church. (there were a few occasions where she wore veil in the church, and the reaction that she got was, "macam Muslim pulak ko pakai tudung nie tau". Silly, so what Mother Mary is wearing on her head in most of her icons? is it not veil? is my mom to be blamed for following the example of Our Loving Mother?)

So guys, do not forget our Catholic beautiful traditions and heritage (Latin, Traditional Mass, veil among girls etc) and keep your spirit up for the Vatican-II teachings. We are the inheritants of it and keep that alive! Viva La Papa! Viva La Traditione! Viva La Chiesa!

P/S: Hey guys, I know this is a bit religious, but this is just my personal sharing...so, hope u can enjoy it. Oh ya, if some of my informations are not correct, inform me in the Comments, ya? really hope some of you, my fellow Catholics will give your comments about this topic...what do you think about Mass, how much you have understand the Mass and how Mass affect your daily life...

vandalism? gersang?

2009-11-13T13:04:00.007+08:00

hmm...vandalisme...rsanya smua org tau bnda tu apa....

it looks something like this....

ya rabbi, siap ada promo jual badan lagi...kitai btul...
(sumber: Flicker pnya gmbar2...)

well, how was it? wanna know more?

hmm....ntah apa2 yg dtulis nie...
(sumber: Flicker pnya gmbar2...)

hahaha...~~boring~

bgini crita dia...hari tu, aku pgi library lah....kunun mau study...*padahal tidur ja lebih...*
skali aku trbacalah sgala ssuatu yg trtlis dimeja tmpat aku duduk tu...*aku duduk di meja satu2 biji tu...*

skali aku tgk..hmm...mcm2lah bnda yg diorg tulis....contohnya...

nie jejaka ksunyian...sori beb...no. fon mesti di cover...nnt ada plak kmu2 nie pgi cari tu llaki...

dara kesunyian...ksian....mari abg temankan...*bias btul aku nie...*

yg nie plak biasa2 pnyalah....Kambing love Kerbau bla bla bla...

ada yg alim...sejuk ati...biarpun ko rosakkan meja tu...adoi...

nah...yg paling xbleh blah tu...yang ini...HAMBIK KO!

shit btul...ada ka tulis situ, dara gersang? klu sdh gersang tu, dara lagi ka jgk...? hehehe....opsss....~~

p/s: dun do vandalism...not gud for u....mngotorkan meja jak....haiz....-_-lll

minggu yang xda exam.....happy or stressful?

2009-11-06T11:54:00.007+08:00

ya...

seperti yg dikatakan dlm tajuk entry nie, sy xda exam minggu nie....smua paper2 sy (termasuk 1 paper killer, Biologi Molekul) disumbat ke minggu berikutnya....so, mula2 tu sy fikir mau enjoy skejaplah 1 dua hari....

actually kgembiraan xda exam nie bermula sebaik sahaja my virology paper habis bah....last week selasa.....so rabu n khamis lepas, sy just berzakaria (huh???) sambil on9 tahap wogok....(wat am I talking about???)

and masuk minggu nie....hmm...mula dah ke-enjoy-an tu hilang....iyalah bah, xkanlah ko mau goyang2 kaki jak klu time2 xda papers nie....

Isnin, 2. 11. 09

bangun lambat, pkul 9 lebih....sdh mandi, mkan.....hmm.....dah tu, sy pgi library, belajar maths, eh salah, belajar Hanyu, Bahasa Mandarin...(dis semester, I took Mandarin as my subjek pilihan bebas, PB....so, instead of taking those weird-never-heard-of languages like Thai, German or French, I took this language....plus, I have some basics in this language and most of all, the most familiar language to my ears...wo gen ni jiang hua yu, hao bu hao?) kekekekke.....

malamnya sy pgi Misa All Souls di Holy Family Kajang....hmm....hujanlah plak time sebelum sy jalan tu....risau jgk klu xdpt pgi...mula2 mau jalan dgn si Kellie, tapi last2 dia mesej, xjadi mau ikut, sbb takut hujan.....

so, aku satu org jaklah, n dlm bas, sy nmpak si Sudin....ingatkn dia mau pgi gereja jugak, rupanya, mau beli barang di Metro...hmm....no friends lah aku dlm gereja nnt...

tp sangkaanku meleset.....sy ada nmpak si Alex Wong, Mark and Pat....oh ya, si Grace budak junior pn ada...hehehe.....tp diorg dibelakang sy lh...

abis jak misa, sy kira mau terus balik, so sy jalan trus pgi bus stand.....tnggu pnya tnggu, sy trlepas bas yg gi ukm....adoii.....tpaksalh tnggu mana2 bas yg dtg...

skali mau jam 10 sdh nie, still xda bas....so masa tu , sy berkira2 mau naik teksi sdh.....skali ada satu kereta yg berenti depan sy nie....trus suruh sy naik kereta dia...

rupanya org2 dlm kereta tu parishioners dri HFK jgk....org Sabah...kami brcerita2 lah....n xsangka, sbnrnya, da driver tu adalah alumni CSSUKM jgk...hehehe....nama panggilan dia Bunny...tp lupa sdh nama betul dia...:p

dia kerja di sana Putrajaya...and kwn2 dia yg duduk dibelakang tu pun kerja sana jgk...hmm....patutlah...

sampai UKM, gelap gulita nie....sy heran, begitu jg dgn org2 dlm kereta tu....hmmm...rupanya library blackout.....kuang3...

Selasa, 3. 11. 09

hari biasa jak....bangun pkul 9, makan, lpas tu, tengaharinya gi library, belajar smpai jam 7mlm (hari ni sy bljr maths), makan dinner, balik bilik, rehat (aka tidur), bangun tghmalam on9 lepas tu, tidur balik jam 3pagi...

Rabu, 4. 11. 09

sama mcm kelmarin.....hehehehe....

mlmnya tu, sy ada download satu muvi dri internet....crita Ju-On (faveret tu...)....tp internet mcm gila2 slow nie...so, sy buka ja lptop sy nie dgn harapan dpt full lah nnt esok siang....

Khamis, 5. 11. 09

hari nie, bangun jam 10, tp kali nie, sy makan sarapan di pusanika, sebab sy mau beli makanan...adoi, mkanan di bilik sdh abis......
hari nie, sy xpgi library...belajar dibilik ja....bljr Biologi Molekul....trus habis satu chapter....huhuhu...lpas tu, jam 6 ptg, sy tidur....

petang2 dlm jam 7 mcm tu, si Julian kol ajak main badminton.....sy dtg jaklah...skali dtg, dia, Gnet, Steve, and Connie tgh main2 sdh....so...da game went on....lpas tu, jam 9.15 mcm tu, kami pgi Zaba, mkan sana.....siang td tu sy sdh mesej si Nelson ajak dia mkan di zaba...and sy minta dia ajak yg lain2 jgk...tp si Elvent sma si Marylyn jak y turun nie....xpalah....ok jgk tu...o ya, si Nicholas n Gloria pun ada...heheh....

kami pun berbual2 smpai jam 11 mlm....and byk bnda yg kami bualkan...mmg ketawa berabis jaklah kami org klu sabahan n sabahan berjumpa2 nie...apa lagi klu smua satu CSSUKM duduk sma2, mmg jd riuh rendah tu kafe Zaba...hahahhahaha!!!

balik bilik, jam 11 lebih sdh time tu....so....on9 jap....and yg bikin panas tu, download muvi nie masih nda penuh2 jgk....shit btul....skali......sy trus ksi cancel jak....ksian si laptop nie....sia2 dibuka 24 jam...last2 nda jgk sy dpt tu muvi....&*^&*&%^&$****#@@!!!

Jumaat (Hari ini), 6. 11. 09

bangun jam 11.....lambat ohhh!!! n menaip entry nie....oklah, mau mandi dlu...td bru abis ksi cuci cadar tilam.....so...

daa....~~~

All Souls Day

2009-11-03T00:18:00.013+08:00

for this entry...I wanna share with you a song, or hymn...a Latin hymn called Dies Irae, Dies Illa (Day of Wrath)...

it is sung before the proclamation of Alleluia just before the Gospel Reading in the Mass for the Dead in the Extraordinary Form of Roman Rite, commonly known as Pre-Vatican II Mass...

A hymn from 13th century and was written by a Franciscan friar, the hymn is all about the Day of Judgement, where Jesus will come, not as the Merciful one, but to be the Judge....

as I read the translation of the hymn, sy rasa sungguh sedih...dan takut....sebab hidup sy nie sgt2 penuh dgn dosa dan kejahatan...mungkinkah Tuhan akan mengampuni dosa-dosa sy...?

sob3....

DIES IRAE

Dies irae, dies illa
Solvet saeclum in favilla,
Teste David cum Sibylla.

(Hari murka, hari yang
akan meleburkan dunia menjadi
arang yang membara
sebagaimana kesaksian Daud dan Sibila.)

Quantus tremor est futurus,
Quando iudex est venturus
Cuncta stricte discussurus!

(Betapa hari itu akan bergoncang
bila Sang Hakim datang
menggegar tiap makam.)

Tuba mirum spargens sonum
Per sepulcra regionum,
Coget omnes ante thronum.

(Sangkakala menyaringkan bunyinya,
menusuk ke seluruh kuburan,
membawa seluruh manusia ke takhtaNya.)

Mors stupebit et natura,
Cum resurget creatura
Iudicanti responsura.

(Maut akan berhenti, begitu juga Alam,
bila sang manusia bangun,
menyahut panggilan Sang Penghakim.)

Liber scriptus proferetur,
In quo totum continetur
Unde mundus iudicetur.

(Sang kitab akan dibawa,
yang terkandungnya warkah bukti,
sebagaimana seharusnya dunia akan dihakimkan.)

Iudex ergo cum sedebit,
Quiqquid latet apparebit:
Nil inultum remanebit.

(Bila Sang Hakim duduk di getaNya,
apa yang terlindung pasti nyata,
takkan ada yang akan tersembunyi.)

Quid sum miser tunc dicturus?
Quem patronum rogaturus?
Cum vix iustus sit securus.

(Apakah bicaraku, si orang celaka, nanti,
siapakah naunganku kelak,
kerana takkan selamatlah daku orang yang bukan benar hidupnya.)

Rex tremendae maiestatis,
Qui salvandos salvas gratis,
Salva me, fons pietatis.

(Wahai Raja Maha Mulia,
yang menyelamatkan mereka yang Kau pilih,
selamatkanlah daku, ya Sumber Belas Kasih.)

Recordare, Iesu pie,
Quod sum causa tuae viae:
Ne me perdas illa die.

(Ingatilah daku, wahai Yesus yang Setia,
Ker'na dirikulah sebab PengorbananMu,
janganlah daku terlepas dariMu di hari itu.)

Quaerens me sedisti lassus:
redemisti crucem passus:
tantus labor non sit cassus.

(Dengan lelahMu, Engkau telah mencariku,
Engkau menebusku dengan SalibMu,
dengan korban itu, janganlah daku terlepas begitu sahaja.)

Iuste iudex ultionis,
donum fac remissionis,
ante diem rationis.

(Penghakim Maha Adil segala dosa besar,
kerjakanlah penebusan segala khilaf,
sebelum Hari Penghitungan.)

Ingemisco, tamquam reus:
culpa rubet vultus meus:
supplicanti parce Deus.

(Daku merintih, ker'na menjadi yang tertuduh,
menjadi merah padam wajahku ker'na dosa-dosaku,
dengarlah permohonanku, ya TUHAN.)

Qui Mariam absolvisit
Et latronem exaudisti,
Mihi quoque spem dedisti.

(Wahai Engkau yang mengampuni Maria si Pendosa itu,
dan memberi pengampunan buat si Pencuri itu,
yang memberi daku harapan.)

Preces meae non sunt dignae:
Sed tu, bonus, fac benigne,
Ne perenni cremer igne.

(Tidak selayaknyalah doaku ini,
namun Engkau yang Maha Baik, adililah daku sebaiknya,
jika tidak, bagikulah api yang takkan padam.)

Inter oves locum praesta,
Et ab haedis me sequestra,
Statuens in parte dextra.

(Di antara dombaan, berilah daku tempat,
dari antara kambing, asingkanlah daku,
dan letakkanlah daku disisiMu.)

Confutatis maledictis,
Flammis acribus addictis:
Voca me cum benedictis.

(Setelah si pendosa sudah disenyapkan,
diserah ke dalam api yang perit,
panggillah daku untuk bersama para berbahagia.)

Oro supplex et acclinis,
Cor contritum quasi cinis:
Gere curam mei finis.

(Dengan berlutut dan bersembah daku berdoa,
disertai hatiku yang bersesal,
wahai Engkau, yang menjaga Sakratulmaut,
Jagailah saat akhirku.)

Lacrimosa dies illa,
Qua resurget ex favilla
Judicandus homo reus:
Huic ergo parce, Deus.

(Di hari yang berduka itu,
dimana dari arang membara itu,
manusia datang untuk dihakimi,
selamatkanlah dia, wahai TUHAN.)

Pie Jesu Domine,
dona eis requiem.
Amen.

(Ya Yesus Tuhan yang Setia,
berilah mereka istirahat.
Amin.)

Latin text for the hymn...pada bahagian kurungan tu adalah terjemahan dari Bahasa Inggeris, ia bukan terjemahan rasmi, hanya terjemahan kasar dari sy sendiri...

to all my Catholic friends, a short passage from "Lumen Gentium"

2009-10-29T10:47:00.003+08:00

...Men go through baptism, which is like going through a door, to join the Church. And so if anyone

- knows that God made the Catholic Church necessary for a person to be saved,
- and then refuses to join the Church, he cannot be saved.

Neither one can be saved if he refuses to stay in the Church.

(Dogmatic Constitution on the Church "Lumen Gentium", A Document of Vatican Council II in controlled English, Chapter 2, No. 14)